


New Beginnings

by Cherrys_Criminal_Mind



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:00:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 42,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28265814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherrys_Criminal_Mind/pseuds/Cherrys_Criminal_Mind
Summary: New in town, the reader meets shy Spencer Reid as she moves in to same apartment building as him.The two start a tentative relationship until a secret from her past threatens to tear them apart.**Repost**
Relationships: Spencer Reid & Reader, Spencer Reid/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 55





	1. Chapter 1

A/N: this isn't a new story. For those that haven't seen it before it's actually the first story I wrote. But I forgot I removed it ago. So now it's back! This was my baby, my first born. Be kind to it! It was my intention to go through and edit it waaaay better but..... I'm lazy. So don't hate on the grammar/spelling too much. It's unbeta'd and rather old. 

"Fuck! Fuckity fuck fuck fuck!"

You were hot and sweaty, and still had six more boxes to unload from the car. All you wanted was a cold beer and a shower but that probably wasn't going to happen any time soon.

You grabbed two more boxes from the trunk and slammed the lid down. Balancing them precariously on top of each other, you made your way up the stairs to the door of your new apartment building. You pushed against the entrance door with your butt, annoyed that you had yet again forgotten to wedge it open. It of course, wouldn't budge and you couldn't reach the handle without unloading the boxes.

"FUCK!" you groaned loudly, kicking the door.

"Here, let me," a soft voice came from behind you. Salvation!

You turned and saw a tall, gangly man with the most beautiful eyes you'd ever seen. He moved past you swiftly, opening the door and holding it for you as you walked into the lobby.

"Thank you soooo much," you smiled gratefully.

"No problem," your saviour replied smiling back. "I'm Spencer, apartment 207."

"Nice to meet you Spencer, apartment 207. I'm Y/N, apartment 307. Looks like I'm right on top of you."

Spencer raised his eyebrows as you felt a flush on your cheeks, realising what you'd just said. You giggled. "Sorry, my mouth opens sometimes before my brain has had the chance to filter my words."

"No problem," he said again, biting his lip slightly.

'Mmmmm he was cute,' you thought to yourself, pleased you at least had some eye candy in your new building.

"Well I'd love to stay and chat, but I erm, need to get the rest of my crap unloaded."

You started to make a move towards the stairs and then somehow managed to trip over your own feet, dropping your boxes and spilling the contents of the top box everywhere. Spencer leant forward catching your arm before you had the chance to hit the floor as well.

"Oh for fuck sakes," you gritted your teeth together steadying yourself. "Thank you again," you glanced at Spencer who was still gripping your arm tightly. "I'm not usually this clumsy I swear."

He laughed, letting go of your arm. 

"Are you sure, cos you're really not making much of a case for yourself right now. Here, I'll help pick your stuff up."

He bent to the floor and started picking up the items that had spilled.

It was only then that you'd realised that one of the boxes you'd dropped had contained your underwear. Which was now strewn all over the lobby floor.

'Excellent first impression Y/N. Throw your underwear at the first attractive man you see.'

You started to blush as you joined him on the floor collecting your bra's and panties from the various spots in which they'd landed. Sneaking a look at Spencer you saw he'd turned as light shade of pink as well.

You quickly shoved the items back into the box and started the art of balancing them back on top of each other.

"I think it just might be better if I carry one for you," Spencer offered. "Not that I'm saying you're not strong enough or anything, but I'd hate for you to spill them again. The other residents might start to wonder if they come down and see panties everywhere."

He flushed deeper at the word panties, you noticed.

'So, sooo cute,' you thought to yourself again.

You handed him the larger box containing your dvds. "Thanks Spencer. I really do appreciate it."

"Not a problem.... Oh awesome, you're a Doctor Who fan too!" He'd noticed the boxset poking out of the box you'd handed him.

"Oh god yes! It's one of my favourite shows!" You exclaimed as you started to make your way up the stairs to your new home.

"Who's your favourite?" he asked following close behind.

"Erm, we'll it's a tough choice but currently it's David Tennant"

"Really?" You turned to see Spencer screwing up his mouth slightly. "Matt Smith was so much better."

"Well Matt Smith has a face that I'd like to punch."

Spencer looked shocked at your words.

"He reminds me of an ex boyfriend," you hurriedly explained. "I didn't think he was a bad Doctor. I just want to hurt his face, a lot. Bad breakup..."

"Ah, well I guess explains it then."

You reached your apartment and pushed the door open, walking in and dropping the box on the floor. Spencer followed you. "Where do you want this?" he asked nodding to the box he was carrying.

"Just over there by the bookshelf please." He set the box down as instructed.

Just then you heard a bleeping noise and saw him pull out his cell. He stared intently, reading his message and sighing.

"I gotta go. Work need me in urgently," he looked at you. "It was nice to meet you Y/N, I'll maybe see you around the building?"

"Yep sure. Thanks again for your help Spencer. It was nice to meet you too. Maybe we can have a Doctor Who marathon or something one night. It would be nice to have at least one friend here, I don't really know anyone in this city."

He smiled shyly. "I-I'd like that," he stuttered slightly. "I work away with work a lot though. That's what the message was. I need to go out of town. "

You wondered what he did for a living but didn't want to probe too much yet.

"Okay well maybe come and knock on my door when you're back then and we can do something?" You suggested. "I don't start my new job for two weeks yet anyway."

"I-I'd like that," he stuttered again.

'Do I make him nervous?' you pondered to yourself, the stuttering endearing him even more to you.

He headed to the door. "Bye Y/N," he waved happily as he exited

"See you soon," you shouted after him.

Very soon indeed you hoped.


	2. Chapter 2

Eight days has passed since you'd moved in and you hadn't seen Spencer again. You'd completely unpacked, familiarised yourself with the area, and most importantly, found out where supplied the best coffee. It was 9pm and you'd just had a bath and changed into your pj's when you heard a soft knocking at your door.

Looking through the peephole you checked who it was calling on you so late, although there was only one person you really knew in this city.

Spencer stood there, hands in his trouser pockets awkwardly. You opened the door grinning at him.

"Hey there Spencer, apartment 207!! I was beginning to think you'd forgotten about me."

"Hey Y/N. Nope not forgotten. I only got back into town late last night. I've spent most of the day cooped up in the office doing paperwork," he smiled slightly at you.

"Sounds fun," you rolled your eyes at him. "Wanna come in? I was just about to order pizza. We can share."

You opened your door widely allowing him to pass through. You wandered over to your kitchen pulling two beers out of the fridge, offering Spencer one. He took it taking a long sip. He looked beat, completely and utterly drained.

"You okay?" you asked carefully, not sure how much to probe. "We don't have to hang out tonight you know? You look shattered."

He pushed his hair back behind his ears from where it was escaping. "Nah its fine. I'm just tired but I didn't fancy being alone tonight that's all."

"Do you wanna talk about it?" you strolled over to the couch, sitting down and crossing your legs under yourself, pulling a pillow into your lap.

He followed, sitting at the opposite end. "Not really, if that's okay? Work just got to me this time that's all." He took another sip of his drink. "Can I ask you something?"

You nodded, awaiting his question.

"What's your accent? I can't for the life of me place it and I consider myself fairly good with different dialects."

You laughed, used to the question. "It's kinda a mish mash. I lived in England until I was eight and then in Spain for two years. We moved to the states after that and so far I've lived in Texas, New York, New Orleans, Colorado and New Mexico. I moved back to the UK to go to university when I was 18 and got a job there after I graduated but I fancied a change. So here I am."

Spencer looked impressed. "Wow, that's a lot of places. Why so many?"

"My parents jobs. They got moved around a lot. They're back in the UK too now."

He seemed to sense that you didn't really want to elaborate. "Speaking of jobs, didn't you say you moved here to start a new one. What will you be doing?"

"If I told you, I'd have to kill you" you said in what you hoped was a mischievous tone. It wasn't that you didn't want to or couldn't tell him, but you didn't want the questions yet that came with your career choices. You liked this guy and he was your only friend in a new city and you didn't want to scare him off. You changed track. "What do you do for a living Spencer?"

"If I told you, I'd have to kill you," he smirked, an extremely attractive sight.

You chuckled along with him. "Tell you what Spencer. Let me actually start the job and decide if I like it enough to stay and if I do, then I'll tell you. And you can tell me all about yours too."

He smiled nodding at you, "It's a deal."

"Maybe we could discuss it over dinner somewhere...." you suggested cautiously, checking his reaction.

He started to flush. "L-like a d-date?"

'Hmmm' you thought. 'Was he not used to girls asking him out or did he not like you?'

One way to find out.

"If you wanted it to be a date then yes. If not, then we can just hang out as friends."

He thought for a moment, and then looked up meeting your eyes. "I think I'd like that" he said quietly. "The d-date option, I mean."

You grinned at him. "Awesome. Now let's order some food."

...

Spencer had finally left at about 1am. Over the course of the evening you'd learned that he was 29 years old, only two years older than you, he was born and raised in Las Vegas and he was ridiculously smart. Like actual genius smart.

You'd always been considered intelligent yourself. You'd had private tutors most of your life due to moving schools so often, and you could speak fluent Spanish as you'd lived there for a few years. You'd gone to Oxford University where you'd gained two degrees, one in Communications and the other in Criminal Psychology, and you'd picked up a number of other qualifications due to the nature of your job.

Spencer was a whole other level of smart though. He held three PhDs and was actually Dr Spencer Reid. He'd graduated early and could speak a number of different languages. He also apparently had an eidetic memory and an IQ of 187. He'd seemed very embarrassed telling you all this, but you were incredibly impressed.

"So you're good looking and intelligent. How are you still single?" you'd asked. Then you realised you didn't actually know if he was, you'd just assumed as he hadn't mentioned anyone.

He'd blushed, confirming your assumption. "I'm not very good with girls. I mean I get along with the ones I work with but I've never really had a girlfriend."

"Wait what?" your jaw had dropped. "Please tell me you're not a virgin?" you'd blurted out before realising what you were asking.

He'd blushed deeper and fidgeted in his seat before answering. "I'm not no."

'Hallelujah' you'd thought, deflowering someone not being high on your list of things to do.

"I just don't really know how to approach girls. I'm awkward and weird. I'm not what girls look for when they want a boyfriend and I'm not into casual hookups" he shrugged.

'Some girls like awkward and weird' you mused internally.

"Well my last actual relationship was when I was 21," you told him. "And that ended badly. I will admit, I've had my share of casual hookups, but haven't yet found anyone I deem worthy of my time."

You'd smiled at him and changed the topic to movies. When he'd left you'd made arrangements to meet up today for coffee which was where you were heading now.

You'd had a few errands to run so you'd agreed to make your own way there. Your eyes scanned the coffee shopped and found him sat in a booth looking worried.

You walked over to him and sat down opposite. "Hey!"

"Hey" he was biting his lip again, something you knew was going to be a problem for you.

"I'm so so sorry Y/N but I have to cancel. I've literally just had a phone call from work. I need to go in. My colleague Derek is on his way here to pick me up now actually."

"Oh" you couldn't say you weren't disappointed. "That's okay Spencer. We'll do something another time." He smiled at you gratefully.

Just then the door to the shop banged open and a coffee skinned man strolled in, walking straight over to Spencer.

"Reid, let's go, Hotch wants wheels up in 45."

He was tall and very built. You'd seen quite a few women glance his way admiring him as he'd walked through.

Spencer stood to leave.

"Wait. Pretty boy, who's this?" The man you'd assumed was Derek had finally realised Spencer had company. He looked at you giving you the once over and nodding in approval.

"Morgan, this is Y/N. She's just moved into my building. Y/N, this is my colleague Derek Morgan."

Derek offered you his hand, "Nice to meet you Y/N. Pretty boy is this the girl you were telling me about?"

Spencer flushed red and nodded awkwardly, pushing his hand through his brown locks.

'He's been talking about me? Result!'

Derek grinned. "Nice" he said nudging Spencer. "Sorry to interrupt guys but we really do need to go. The boy genius is needed."

"I'll see you when I get back okay?" He looked at you for confirmation.

"Okay" you replied. "Actually wait" you called as he started to leave.

"Give me your cell number" you demanded rummaging around in your bag for your phone. Spencer reeled off his number as you hurriedly stored it in your phone, calling it once you were done so he'd have yours. He smiled and you watched him save yours with a few clicks.

"I'll see you around Spencer."

You watched them both walk away and saw Derek clapping him on the back encouragingly, grinning at him.

'I wonder how long it will be this time before I see him again'


	3. Chapter 3

This time there was only four days before you saw Spencer again. He'd text you apologising again for having to run out on your coffee meeting and yet again you'd assured him that it was fine. You got it. His job was obviously a very important one and you completely understood. 

In fact you were used to it. But you were used to being the one to run out on others due to your line of work. You did wonder exactly what he did for a living, and you'd been tempted to Google him but decided against it. You had both agreed to wait to discuss your jobs after all. 

Your phone started to buzz. 9.30pm on a Saturday night, you wondered who it was? It was unlikely to be your mum. You'd spoken to her earlier in the day to let her know how you were settling in. You grabbed it seeing the name Spencer flashing up on the screen. You swiped to answer it. 

"Hey"

"Hey Y/N, are you busy tonight? " Spencer asked. You could hear a lot of noise in the background and wondered where he was. 

"Not really no," you replied. Your plan had been to curl up in front of the TV to catchup on Game of Thrones but that could wait. 

"We got back a few hours ago and Morgan has insisted on dragging me out to a bar. D-do you wanna c-come join us?" the stutter was back again. 

"Is it just you two?" you asked, not quite ready to meet anymore of his work colleagues or friends before you'd got chance to know him better yourself.

"Yep, everyone else had things to do, so I'm the unfortunate one who got dragged along with him."

"Okay sure. Just let me get ready and I'll come meet you? "

"G-great." Spencer gave you the name and address of the bar and advised roughly where he and Morgan would be sat. 

You dressed quickly having not long showered anyway. You chose a simple purple sundress which you knew you looked nice in as a pair of black heels. You left your long hair loose as it had dried in its natural waves. You expertly applied your make up keeping it simple but still wanting to look nice. You stepped back and surveyed yourself in the mirror. You approved. 

The bar wasn't far from your apartment so you walked, the summer breeze flowing through your hair. It took maybe ten minutes to find the place and you entered scanning the room for Derek and Spencer, quickly spotting them. Waving at them, you headed to the bar ordering a pitcher of beer and nodding over to the table showing the bar tender where you would be. 

You wandered over to the guys, Derek greeting you warmly. "Hey Kitten. Good to see you again. Nice legs by the way." 

"Kitten?" You raised an eyebrow. 

"He does this with everyone Y/N," Spencer sighed. "He can't seem to call people by their actual names."

"Fair enough," you shrugged as bartender bought over your pitcher. You poured, taking a long sip, the refreshing beer cool on your lips. 

"So Kitten, how are you liking the city so far? Reid says you moved here for work but that you wouldn't say what you do?" Derek leaned closer so you could hear him over the music that was playing. 

"Well the city is okay. I haven't really seen much of it yet to be honest." You replied idly playing with strand of your hair. "And I start my new job on Monday, so all being well I'll be able to tell Spence all about it."

"So he's not told you what we do either then?"

"Nope." You popped the p sound grinning. "Although I'm very intrigued I must say. But we did kind of make a deal so I can hold out for a few more days not knowing."

Derek laughed and the three of you bantered for a while before Derek headed off to get more drinks. 

"You look nice by the way Y/N." Spencer turned to you. 

"Thank you. So do you."

He did look nice. Obviously having come straight from work, he was in black trousers and a dark purple shirt. His tie was still on but was slightly loose and his top few buttons were open. His sleeves were rolled up and his suit jacket was slung over the back of his chair. His dark hair was messy, but in a good way, a way that kinda made you want to run your fingers through it. 

He blushed lightly at your compliment, as you leant over fingering the fabric of his shirt.

"We're both in purple." You stated the obvious. 

"It's my favourite colour." 

"Mine too." You both smiled at each other as. Derek returned with a tray of drinks. 

"Drink up peeps. We need to get this party started. I wanna get my groove on." You groaned realising he had returned with shots. 

He passed them out, three to you and two to both himself and Spencer. "Why do I get extra?" You protested. 

"Because we've been here, drinking for longer Kitten." He smirked. "Don't worry, I'm not trying to get you drunk so Pretty Boy can take advantage of you." 

You saw Spencer flush red. "Meh," You shrugged. "Maybe I'll be the one taking advantage of him."

Derek laughed loudly. "Nice one. I bet he'd love that. Now drink." 

You downed you drinks, wincing at the sourness of the liquor, and you talked some more, feeling more and more at ease and relaxed as the alcohol made its way into your system. 

One of your favourite songs to dance to came on; Supermassive black hole by Muse. You hopped off your chair. "Come dance with me Spencer." You grabbed his hands. 

His eyes widened and he shook his head furiously, pulling his hands free. "No no no, no way. I don't dance."

You pouted at him. "Sorry no. I can't do it." He protested again. 

"Pretty Boy doesn't dance kitten. I'll dance with you though." Morgan hopped off his stool too. Spencer looked relieved. 

You let Derek lead you to the dance floor as as you started swaying to the music, your hips moving in time. Derek pulled you close, his hands resting lightly on your hips his pace matching yours. You could see Spencer watching you over Dereks shoulder. You smiled at him and he smiled back, his eyes watching your every move. 

"So, I gotta ask Kitten." Derek spoke quietly, close to your ear. "What's the deal with you two?" 

"The deal?"

"Yep, the deal. Are you into him or what. I'm only asking cos Reid is one of my closest friends. He's like a little brother to me and I wanna make sure he's not being messed with. He doesn't really have any female friends outside of work."

You pulled back slightly looking Derek in the eye. "Honestly I don't know what our deal is. I'm new here and he and now you are the only people I know in this city." 

"But you do like him right? I can see you looking at him over my shoulder even though you're dancing with me."

"Yes." You sighed. "I do like him. He's smart and funny and we seem to be into a lot of the same stuff....and he's hot."

Derek chuckled. "It's not everyday I hear the boy genius described as hot, I must say."

You giggled back and then more seriously you said, "Listen Morgan, I get that you care about him. It's nice. He's also told me that he's never really had a girlfriend. At the moment, we're just friends but I'd like to see where it goes. Wherever it goes though, it will go slowly. My last relationship was a few years ago and it was a bad one, so I'm a not about to jump into anything."

Derek looked you in the eyes as the song came to an end "Fair enough. I like you Y/N. You seem like a nice girl. And you're good for him. He's smiled a lot more since he met you. Now let's get you back to him."

...

You woke up the next morning confused and feeling like someone had taken a dump in your mouth. You moved to grab your phone.

"Fuck," you grimaced, the motion making your head pound. It was past noon and you had a text from Spencer. 

"You still alive? I feel like I might have died and gone to hell." It read, sent only a few minutes ago. 

There had been lots more shots last night, and a fair amount of dancing with Derek. Evertime a song that you liked came on you'd pleaded with Spence to join you but he flatly refused everytime laughing at your failed attempts to physically drag him to the floor. He was stronger than he looked. 

You vaguely remembered walking home with him and him draping his jacket around your shoulders like a true gentlemen. 

"I think I'm alive. I'm not sure. I need food. And a new brain please. Mine hurts." You typed back. Your phone buzzed a few minutes later. 

"I still have the pizzas you insisted we bought on the way home, but then decided you couldn't stomach when we got here."

Cold pizza sounded amazing right now. "Let me shower and I'll be right down."

"K. I've just showered, doors on the latch. I'll be dying on my couch." Spencer replied. 

You quickly showered and brushed your teeth, pulling your damp hair into a messy top knot. You threw on some sweat pants and an old MCR band tee and headed downstairs. 

You pushed open his apartment door. You'd been here last night you recalled as you'd decided in your drunken state that you wanted to see where he lived. In fact your heels were still on his floor from where you must have kicked them off, walking barefoot back up to your apartment when you'd decided you needed to sleep. 

Spencer was lying on his couch, his hair damp from the shower. He was wearing tartan pajama bottoms and an old grey tee shirt with mis matched socks. You realised the you'd never seen him in anything other than a shirt and trousers. Casual suited him. 

He moved his feet so you could join him on the couch and you settled in opposite him. "I blame you for this." you croaked at him. 

"Why me? I feel like death too." He croaked back, his voice low and gravelly. 

"I was planning on having a nice quiet night in and then you called. And then I wake up this morning feeling like a family of badgers have shit in my mouth and taken a sledgehammer to my head."

He smiled weakly. "Badgers?" 

"Yes Badgers."

You grabbed the pizza box from the floor opening it and taking a slice passing the box to Spencer. "You know who I blame. " Spencer stated. 

You looked at him before saying at the same time as him. "Morgan."

You both laughed as he flicked his TV on. You spent the afternoon talking, watching crappy Sunday TV and falling in and out of consciousness as you both napped. 

It reached 7pm when you decided that you needed to leave. You needed to sort some stuff out and get a good night's sleep ready for the your new job tomorrow. 

You nudged Spencer who had nodded off again. "Spence. I need to go."

"What...." He said sleepily his eyes still closed. You giggled. He looked so adorable half asleep. 

"I've got things to sort out for tomorrow." You moved his legs from next to you and climbed off his couch.

You bent down giving him a hug, feeling him tense initially before hugging you back. "Last night and today, strangely was fun Spence. Thanks for being my new friend. It's made moving to a new city easier."

He smiled at you. "No worries Y/N. And good luck for tomorrow. Let me know how it goes. I look forward to finally finding out what you do."

You waved as you headed out, climbing the stairs back up to your apartment. 

When you got home, you set about making preparations. You rummaged through your wardrobe picking out your outfit for tomorrow and packing a small bag with a change of clothes and toiletries like you'd been instructed to. All of your documents were in a folder on your desk ready for you to take with you. 

You had a long relaxing bath, washing yourself properly this time before falling into bed and opening your laptop to check your emails. 

You'd had one from your new boss reminding you that he wanted to meet with you early tomorrow before the rest of the team got in, just to go over some things with you. He'd also included a list of your new teammates names and their job descriptions. 

Your eyes scanned the list, one name and then another jumping out at you. Your eyes widened. 

"Fuck! Fuckity fuck." You groaned to yourself. 

This could definitely complicate things.

You Googled the names hoping there was a mistake. 

Nope.

The images displayed on the screen matched the images in your head. 

You sighed. Tomorrow was going to be....... Interesting. 


	4. Chapter 4

"Well Agent Y/L/N, I think we've covered most of the important details this morning. You fully understand what your responsibilities within the team will be?" 

You looked back across the desk at Aaron Hotchner, the man you'd been liaising with via email the past six months, since you'd accepted your new position. 

"Yes sir. To take over from yourself as media liaison and to assist yourself and Penelope Garcia with the selection of cases."

Agent Hotchner nodded at you.

"Obviously you will also be assisting the team on cases out in the field. It's pleasing to see that you have put yourself through the same training courses the rest of the team have completed. You didn't have to complete all of them you know. The majority of your qualifications from the UK would have been transferable."

"I know this sir, but I thought it best that I receive the same training as the others."

Agent Hotchner nodded at you again. "Well I dare say you'll be a valuable member to this team. You come highly recommended from the National Crime Agency and your superiors there had nothing but positive things to say about you. It seems you were on fast track for a promotion there as well. Can I ask why you felt the need for the change in both agencies and countries?"

"I assume the details of what happened to me when I was 18 are in my file?" You questioned knowing the answer. It was, it always was. 

"They are, but that part of the file has been locked and will only be made accessible by those I deem necessary." He assured you. You smiled gratefully. 

"Well last year I received some news concerning the incident. And I no longer wished to remain in the same country. I made my feelings known to the director who suggested I look at the FBI as an option. Given my father's heritage and the amount of time I spent in the states as a teenager, I already had dual citizenship so it seemed the obvious choice. I went through the relevant channels of communication and application and now here I am." 

"Well we're glad to have you." Agent Hotchner spoke. "When Agent Jareau was transferred out, myself and Penelope took on her role as media liaison and split it between us. Adding her duties to our already sizable workloads has place extra pressure on the team so it will be a relief to hand some of it back."

"Now before I introduce you to the rest of the team, is there anything else you'd like to talk about?"

You took a deep breath. "Actually Sir, there is."

You leaned forward in your chair and explained how you had come to know two of his agents already. When you'd finished, you were sure you could detect a hint of a smile on his lips. 

"So you're the reason Reid has had a smile on his face for the last two weeks?" he asked. "You know the FBI doesn't actually have a code against departmental relationships. As long as it doesn't become an issue and affect your work."

"Erm," you coughed. "We are just friends at the moment sir. It was only when I read your email last night that I realised we'd be working together. I thought you should know that we do know each other outside of work that's all." You told him how you'd both agreed not to discuss your jobs. 

"So Reid doesn't have a clue you'll be working together?"

You shook your head. Agent Hotchner laughed. "This should be interesting then. Come on Agent Y/L/N. Let's go meet the team."

...

Agent Hotchner strolled out of his office holding his door open for you and led the way across the area known as the bullpen. 

You followed him nervously over to a group of desks where you could see the team were gathered. Both Spencer and Derek were there already although Spencer was stood with his back to you. 

With them was a man you recognised as David Rossi, whose books you'd devoured, along with a brightly dressed blonde woman who wore luminous green glasses. Next to them stood a slim brunette who you also recognised. 

"Guys, I'd like you to meet the newest member of our team." Agent Hotchner started. 

Derek looked up from his phone, saw you and immediately started laughing loudly shaking his head as he did. 

"Sweet cheeks what's so funny? I'm normally the only one who can make you laugh like that." The blonde woman addressed him looking confused, glancing over at you and giving you a quick once over. 

Derek was still chuckling as he kept looking at Spencer and then back to yourself. "Man this is going to good," he smirked. "Pretty boy, turn around." 

Spencer Reid did as instructed and you watched as his jaw dropped and his eyes widened when we saw you standing there. 

"What the fu....." You heard him murmur quietly.

"Team this is Agent Y/F/N. She's joining us from the National Crimes Agency in the UK and will be taking on some of the responsibilities that Agent Jareau dealt with. Let's make her feel welcome and show her the ropes." Agent Hotchner introduced you individually to each member of the team, the three members that you hadn't previously met all shaking your hand and smiling their greetings to you. 

"I believe you already know Agent Morgan." 

Derek smirked and gave you a half hug, "Hey Kitten."

"And finally Dr Reid, who I also believe you know."

"Hey Spence," you waved at him. He still hadn't moved. 

"Spence?" You heard the blonde woman you now knew as Penelope Garcia whisper softly. "Oh... Oh...OH!" She grinned at you her hands clapping happily. "You're the girl he was telling us about, the one who's just moved into his building. Oh it all makes sense now."

"Ohhhhhh," you heard Agents Rossi and Prentiss breathed together both looking at Spencer who still hadn't moved. 

"What's up genius? I've never seen you this lost for words." Emily nudged him. 

"Erm.... I-I....erm... But. ... Erm." He spluttered finally squeaking out a "Hi" to you. 

"Cat got your tongue Reid?" Rossi asked him. 

"More like Kitten got his tongue." Derek teased. You glared at him seeing Spencer turn red. 

"Well I guess we don't need to have that big conversation about our jobs anymore," you said softly. He shook his head 

"Nope," he whispered, his eyes finally meeting yours.

Agent Hotchner broke the tension "Right team, now introductions have been made, Garcia and Y/N if you could both meet in my office. There's a stack of cases for us to start going over. The rest of you, use today to finish off any paperwork you need to."

Garcia grabbed your hand. "Oh I can't wait to get to know you. I want to know everything. And don't hold back. Oh, we're going to be great friends I can already feel it!" She pulled you along excitedly leading you back to the office. 

You glanced around catching Spencer's eye. He still looked shell shocked. You two needed to talk. 


	5. Chapter 5

The next few hours were spent in Agent Hotchner's office, him and Garcia showing you how they filed and sorted cases. 

"Now there will be some cases that come directly to myself or some that we are instructed to work on rather than requested," your new boss explained. "But the majority will be passed to us to sort through and decide which is a priority and needs our immediate attention and which isn't."

You'd nodded, it was fairly similar to what you'd been doing in the UK. The Agent selected a handle of cases which he was going to look at personally and provide a telephone consult for and then instructed Penelope to show you to your office and to talk you through your computer set up. 

"I get my own office Agent Hotchner?" You must have missed that, instead assuming that you'd be working from desks downstairs with the other profilers. 

"Yes Y/N. As media liaison you'll need the space to sort through the cases and make contact with the relevant authorities without distraction. Your office will be next door to Penelope's. Also, when we're here, please call me Hotch. The rest of the team do." You took note, nodding at him. 

You left his office following Penelope, listening to her jabbering away. You could see Spencer leaning over his desk, his tongue slightly stuck out between his lips. He was obviously hard at work. Penelope clocked you looking at him. 

"Oh yes sweet lady, I want to know all about you and the good Doctor." She'd tried to ask you when you were in Hotch's office but he'd shut her down with a short sharp "Penelope!" her responding "Sorry sir," like a petulant teenager everytime. 

"There's nothing really to tell. I happened to move into the same building as him and I had the good fortune to run into him on my first day." You followed her into an empty office where she sat down at a desk. 

"Your main computer is here obviously, laptop for travelling is in that bag over there. They're both synced with each other so whatever you save on one will load up on the other. The phone lines in here are secure and are recorded so if you need to make any personal calls it's best to use your cell." She was pointing out things as she went, reaching into a drawer and pulling out a new cell phone and handing it to you. "Work phone and charger, already pre loaded with all of the important contact details, including all of our cell numbers. I'm speed dial number one. Spencer is currently number five I believe, but you can change that. I sent an update out this morning to the rest of the teams phones with your number so they'll all have that too now."

She motioned for you to sit next to her as she booted up the computer. 

"But you have gone out with him a few times right?" she changed the subject back to Reid. 

"Well yeah, but just as friends. And derek was there too. What exactly has he said about me anyway?" 

"Who, Morgan or Reid?" she asked.

"Both." 

She pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to you. "Log in details, you can change the passwords if you like, but if I need to get access to something on here I'll be able to. It's what I do best." She logged in for you and started pulling various programmes up. 

"Hmmm, well, Spencer hasn't really said much other than he'd met a girl who was moving into his building and that he'd helped you out moving some boxes. He's very private usually so that fact that he mentioned a girl had us all dying for more details. But he wouldn't even tell me your name, so I couldn't even Google you."

"To be fair to him, I'd never actually given him my full name so it wouldn't have been much use anyway." You avoided using your full name as much as possible, preferring to use the shortened version of your christian name. 

"Sweetie, I'd have found you trust me, all I'd need was your first name. But anyway, then my sweet prince Derek said that he'd met you too and that you definitely had his approval. You have mine by the way too. Hotch gave me your files last night to load onto our database so I know that you're almost as smart as he is. He needs someone who will challenge him."

"Penelope, we're just friends I swear." You were definitely going to need to talk to Spencer about this at some point too as you actually really didn't know what you were. You had mentioned going on an actual date when you'd first met, but working together was definitely going to complicate things. 

Garcia looked at you smiling. "For now my sweet cupcake you are. For now."

...

Penelope spent the rest of the morning guiding you through the systems. You broke for lunch around 1pm and she pointed you in the direction of the kitchenette so you can make some coffee. 

You nipped back to your car as well collecting your go bag and a box of items you would store in your desk, grabbing a sandwich from the vending machine on the way back into the kitchenette. 

Emily was sat in there nursing a drink as you entered. "Hey Y/N. Good first day so far?" she asked. "Mugs are in the cupboard if you don't have your own yet."

You took one and poured yourself a coffee joining her on the table with your sandwich. 

"I know you don't I?" she asked "You're Valerie and Bryan's daughter."

You nodded, wondering if she'd recognise you or not. You'd only met her once, around ten years ago when you'd popped in to see your parents at the Interpol offices in London where she was based previously. 

"How are they?" 

"Well Mum is still heading up the London office and Dad is running his own security consultancy now. He retired after his accident a few years ago." He'd been shot on a case with a sniper rifle and had nearly died. 

"Yeah I heard about that. They must be proud of you though," she stated. 

You nodded. "They wanted me to apply for a position at Interpol when I graduated, but I just couldn't bear to be under their constant scrutiny. I mean I love them to bits, but everyone would have thought I'd got the job because of my surname." You knew Emily understood what with her mother being who she was. 

Emily drained her mug and stood to leave. "Well I look forward to working with you Y/N. If you're anything like your parents then you'll be a hell of an asset to this team. Maybe one night we could get together with Garcia and have a girls night to get to know each other better?" 

You smiled at her. "Thanks. I'd like that."

As Emily exited, Spencer walked in, stopping in his tracks when he saw you there. 

You waved. "Come sit with me. I haven't had chance to talk to you today."

He looked unsure, then made a decision and grabbed a coffee, joining you at the table. You watched as he emptied at least ten sugar packets into it. 

"So erm, that was a bit of a surprise for you this morning I'll bet." You looked at him waiting for him to answer. He didn't, and just continued stirring his coffee.

"Derek seemed to enjoy it though." 

Still, no comment. 

"Spencer why are you being weird with me?"

He bit his lip but didn't answer. 

You sighed. "Spencer, I only found out last night too. I swear I didn't know we would be working together before, although in hindsight if I had, maybe this wouldn't be weird."

He took a sip of his drink, his eyes finally meeting yours. When he spoke it was in low hushed tones.

"I'm sorry if I'm being weird. It's just... Well I've never really had a friend outside of work before and it was nice to have someone else to hang out with and to do things with. But now, they're all going to want to steal you from me."

You laughed. So that was what he was worried about. You not spending time with him? 

"Seriously Y/N. I've already heard Garcia telling Derek how she plans on taking you shopping and having you over for a girls nights and stuff."

"Spencer listen. We'll still hang I promise. You were my first friend here. Plus, you know where I live. Just come and knock on my door anytime. Is that all you were worried about?"

He shook his head hesitating before he spoke again even quieter stuttering slightly. "I like you Y/N. And you seemed to enjoy my company. I-I thought m-maybe that m-meant something else. But if we w-work together, then it probably doesn't right." The last part was said as more of a statement rather than a question. He seemed really defeated which made you sad. 

You leant over the table putting your hand on his. He jumped at your contact and then relaxed as your started stroking his hand gently. 

"Honestly Spencer.....I like you too. A lot. But working together does complicate things even if there is no rule against us actually having a relationship." His eyebrows shot up at the mention of a relationship. 

"So how about this. We continue spending time together as friends. Providing we're not on a case, we'll have Friday nights as our night. Sort of a date night but not actually a date. I don't want to start a relationship with someone who I just started work with, risk it going badly and having to find a new job. But I also really do like you. So can we just like, see what happens?"

He nodded and smiled, his spirits lifting a little knowing that all hope was seemingly not lost. 

"Okay."

"Good. Now tell me how the hell you're managing to drink that crap. The amount of sugar you've poured into it is enough to make me feel like my own teeth are rotting."

He laughed returning to his usual self and you settled into the easy conversation you'd experienced the day before.

Phew, you thought to yourself. Maybe it's not going to be complicated after all


	6. Chapter 6

Thirteen weeks had passed since you’d joined the BAU. You’d settled into your new role well, Hotch commenting on how impressed he was with your work during your review. The team had accepted you as one of their own as you had tried to integrate yourself with them as much as possible. You’d had girls nights out with Emily and Penelope cursing them both the next days when you’d woke up with hangovers from hell. 

You’d even woken up once in Spencer's bed. That had confused you. Although it had emerged that it was completing innocent. You’d drunk dialed him to come and pick you up and when you’d got home you couldn’t find your apartment keys so Spencer had taken you back downstairs to his, sleeping on the couch like the true gentlemen he was. It turned out that Garcia had in fact stolen your keys hoping to force your relationship with Reid by making you spend the night. You’d had stern words with her when you’d found this out. You’d also given Reid a spare key to your apartment after this hoping to avoid that situation again, although it still didn’t stop you regularly passing out on each others couches. 

Your friendship with Reid had grown stronger although it had remained as that. A friendship. It seemed neither of you wanted to broach the topic of taking anything further, despite Morgan's incessant teasing. 

You’d kept your promise of spending Fridays nights together when you could, although generally providing you weren’t out on a case you tended to end up in each others apartments in the evenings anyway, cooking for the other or ordering take out when one of you inevitably burnt the food. 

You’d even managed to beat him at poker, playing it on the jet on the return home from cases. In fact you’d beaten him so often that Derek had suggested you up the stakes and play strip poker in order to give Reid more of an incentive to win. 

“Morgan if you want to see Spence naked so badly you should just ask him.” You’d remarked back causing Spencer to laugh and Derek to protest loudly. 

Life was good. 

... 

The team had returned from a case and had just finished the filing the necessary paperwork. You were perched on the edge of Emily's desk chatting with her about her plans for the evening, which typically involved watching a movie with Sergio. 

A pair of large, strong hands clasped you on your shoulders from behind making you jump and spill your coffee all down your white shirt. 

“MORGAN!” you exclaimed loudly pulling the warm wet fabric away from your torso. 

“Sorry Kitten. Just wanted to see if you wanted to join me and baby girl for drinks this evening.” You shook your head. It was a Friday night and you had plans with Spencer. 

“Thanks but no thanks Derek. We’re catching up on Game of Thrones tonight. We haven’t been able to watch the last few.”

“Suit yourself. You and the genius have fun on your date now. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

You threw him a look and headed back to your office. You needed to get out of this shirt. 

You shut the door and pulled out a spare top from your go bag and stripped off. Just then your door swung open. 

Spencer didn’t usually knock and normally you didn’t mind. Today though, you wished he had. 

“Shit…. S-sorry.” He turned around averting his eyes but not before he’d glanced at your stomach. You sighed knowing what he’d seen. You pulled on your clean shirt. 

‘Ready to go Spence?" You asked trying to sound normal. He nodded and you walked out together, waving to the others who were left. 

... 

The ride home was silent which wasn’t usual for you two. You knew you’d have to broach the subject of what he’d seen when he’d walked in on you but you weren’t sure you wanted to yet. You would have told him eventually, him being the closest thing you had to a best friend but you wanted a bit more time. 

“Your place or mine, Spencer?” You asked as you entered your building together. 

“Erm. I wasn’t sure you still wanted to hang this evening. I’m sorry about earlier Y/N. I should just go back to knocking. Do you want your apartment key back?”

“Don’t be silly. Listen, let me have a shower and get changed and then I’ll come down to you okay. Order some pizza for us both.” He nodded and you parted ways at his door. 

You showered quickly washing the days grime off you and changed into sweat pants and a band tee. Heading downstairs you used the key he’d given you to let yourself in. 

He was sat on his couch reading, hair damp from the shower he’d just had as well. 

“Hey, pizza should be here any minute. I ordered our usual.” He smiled at you putting his book down and handing you the remote to his TV. You clicked it on, channel surfing until you found one showing reruns of a crime show you both liked to pick apart. 

The pizza arrived and you ate in relative silence. Every few minutes you saw him open his mouth to speak but then close it again unsure of what to say. 

“Spencer just ask,” you said softly. “I know you saw them.”

He swallowed and looked nervous. “I don’t want to pry though. I do want to know but I don’t want to upset you.”

You reached over and took his hand. “Just ask what you want to know.”

He looked down and your interlocked fingers. “Okay. What happened to you Y/N. Who hurt you?" 

He was referring to the ugly scars that ran over your stomach and back. You had some at the top of your thighs too but he wouldn’t have seen then. 

You took a deep breath willing your emotions to stay intact. "It’s a long story Spencer so don’t interrupt okay. Just listen.” You looked at him and saw him nodding. 

“When I was 18 I started dating this guy I met at Oxford. He was in his third year there and had been helping out as a TA for one of the lecturers. We’d been together for about 3months and everything was going great. We were in a bar one night and another group of guys from one of my classes came in and started talking to me. I lived off campus with a roommate and she was out when we go home and he flipped out at me, accusing me of fucking the boys I’d been talking to and calling me a slut and a whore. When I started to defend himself he started to physically attack me.”

You looked at Spencer knowing the worse was to come. He looked shocked and was gripping your hands tightly. 

“We’d only been going together for three months and we hadn’t had sex. I wasn’t a virgin or anything, but we didn’t get to spend that much time with each other due to classes and I didn’t want to rush into anything.”

You heard Spencer swallow. You squeezed his hand sure that he knew what was coming. 

You continued emotionlessly as you learnt to do whenever you’d had to tell the story. “He raped me and then stabbed me repeatedly and then left me for dead. It was only thanks to my room mate coming home earlier than planned and finding me, that I’m here today. He was smart enough to remove evidence that he’d been in my room that night and he smashed a few windows and took some of my jewellery to make it look like a robbery gone wrong. He didn’t count on me surviving though. He was caught and sentenced but was released about 4 months ago. Good behaviour, reformed character and continual remorse or some sort of other bull shit that gets attempted murderers out on parole these days.”

“When I was contacted and told that he was being released early, that’s when I knew I could no longer stay in that country. 18 years he got for what he did to me but only served 9 of them, and I’m left with the emotional and physical scars to last a lifetime.” You spat the last part out angrily. 

You sat waiting for Spencer to take it all in, not knowing what his reaction would be. The last time you’d came clean about the scars to a guy was when you were 21. The last actual boyfriend you’d had. He couldn’t cope with the truth and had ended the relationship leaving you heartbroken as he was the first man you’d trusted properly since the attack. Since then you’d lied and told people it was a result of a car wreck. 

The attack was what had spurred you into a career within the National Crimes Agency, although it was known by a different name when you’d first joined. You’d felt the need to help catch the bastards like him and had used it as ammunition to graduate at top of your classes and to secure an internship within the Agency. The internship had quickly led to them offering you a permanent position when one of their media liaisons had unexpectedly resigned. 

You felt Spencer shift in his seat moving closer to you. A full ten minute passed before he could say anything, although you could hear him opening his mouth and closing it again as he’d done earlier, simply not knowing what to say. You could feel the tears building inside of you, fearful that you’d made him pity you or scared him away. 

Finally when you felt you could take the silence no more he turned to you. Rather than speak he just reached over and wrapped his arms around you. You fell into him grasping at his shirt as the tears behind to fall. 

“I am so so sorry Y/N,” he murmured holding you tightly and stroking your hair. “So sorry.” He kissed your head lightly, rocking you back and forth. “I will never let anything like that happen to you again. I promise you that okay. You’re my best friend and I’ll do everything in my power to protect you." 

And you actually believed him.


	7. Chapter 7

The night you’d confessed to Spencer had involved a lot of crying on your part. It had been a long while since you’d had a conversation about the attack with someone who wasn’t already privy to the details and you’d forgotten how hard it was. 

Spencer had been amazing though. He held you and had murmured all the right things into your ear, just gently stroking your back and letting you sob into his shirt. He’d tentatively asked if he could see the scars properly and you’d obliged standing in front of him and shoving down your sweat pants so he could see the marks on your thighs and lifting your tee shirt so he could inspect your stomach. 

He’d stared in disbelief, his eyes filling with tears and then he’d reached out gently tracing the marks with his fingertips. It had felt odd. His touch was strangely loving and affectionate and as he’d traced the longest scar you’d actually shivered. Not with discomfort, but with something else. He’d noticed and had reached down pulling your sweats back up and lowering your top again, pulling you back onto the couch next to him. 

“I can’t imagine the pain you must have gone through.” He’d said in a small voice. You explained to him that actually, when the attack was happening you’d been knocked out having had the back of your head smashed against a wall. It was only when you’d came to in the hospital later on that you’d discovered the full extent of what had happened. “In a way, it’s like it didn’t even happen to me. Because I don’t really remember it.” You’d shrugged “All I have are these reminders.”

“Does any one else at work know?“ 

"Hotch does. And it’s in my records so I was a little bit concerned about Garcia finding out but Hotch has said that that part of my file is locked and will cause an alert if anyone unauthorised tries to access it.”

You couldn’t work out if Emily knew as well. She’d never said anything to you but she had been working in the same office as your parents at Interpol when it happened. Your parents had used all of their contacts and power to keep your name out of the media and had succeeded, but them working where they did and having to take time off when you were recovering meant that you were sure people in their office must have known. 

Still if she did know, she was being discreet and not treating you any differently which you’d appreciated. 

That night you’d both fallen asleep on Spencer's couch, exhausted from crying. When you’d woken in the morning you were both lying down and his arms were wrapped around your waist protectively. It was nice and you didn’t want to move but you knew you had to. 

Life had gone on and Spencer didn’t treat you any differently as you’d requested. The only indication that he knew was sometimes when a case involved a sexual assault, you could feel his gaze lingering on you for longer as normal. You’d always smile at him, giving him a quick nod. “I’m okay.” you’d told him one night. “I’ve been dealing with this for a long time now. I’ll tell you if I’m ever not okay I promise.” He’d nodded back and you’d given him a hug, understanding his concern for you. Your parents had been the same afterwards always wanting to make sure you were alright. 

… 

It was a sunny Sunday morning and you were doing some well overdue cleaning. Your ipod was blasting in its dock and you were wandering from room to room duster in hand, cleaning away the accumulated grime. You weren’t a messy person per se but being away on cases so much, often caused the housework to build up. 

Your ipod contained a very random mix of music and you smiled as an English boy band Another Level flicked on. You properly got into the song shimmying your way around the room and singing loudly remembering the look of horror on your mother’s face when she’d heard you and your friends singing the lyrics as eleven year olds.

“Let me lick you up and down till you say stop.   
Let me play with your body baby, make you real hot.   
Let me do all the things you want me to do.   
Cos tonight baby, I wanna get freaky with you.”

The song ended as you spun around with a flourish pointing to your imaginary audience. 

Then catching sight of s certain tall lanky profiler leaning against your doorway with a very amused look on his face, you proceeded to trip over your own feet and fall to the ground. "Ouch” you muttered landing hard on your ass.

Spencer started to laugh and clapped his hands together “I loved the ending,” he teased walking over to you and offering his hand to you, pulling you up. “Do you always fall over at the end of your performances?"

"Only when I have an unexpected audience. How long have you been there?” Your cheeks were hot. 

“Long enough to see you swing around that lamp in the corner in a manner that could only be described as ‘stripper like’,” he smirked at you. You loved that smirk, it was incredibly sexy. 

You were still holding his hand when the music flicked over, the opening bars to Kings of Leon: Revelry starting to play. “I love this song.”

“I kinda like it too.” Spencer replied.

“Dance with me?” You asked, your hands moving to his shoulders. 

He started to protest trying to move away but you weren’t having any of it. 

“Just this once Spence. No one else can see us.” 

He relented reluctantly and you moved closer to him. Feeling his arms wrap around you and settle in the small of your back you started to sway softly to the music, singing quietly to yourself. 

You lay you head on his shoulder as the song continued, closing your eyes and enjoying how close you were. You could feel his heart beating quicker than normal which made you smile. You pulled away as the song was ending grinning at him. 

“See that wasn’t so bad was it?" 

His eyes were fixed on yours. "No, it wasn’t,” he replied softly his tongue sweeping across his lower lip wetting it slightly. You wanted to kiss him so badly at that moment. 

You could cut the tension between you with a knife right then and could sense that finally something was going to happen between you. You bit your lip and seeing his eyes move to your mouth you made a decision and started to bridge the gap between you, feeling him do the same. 

“Well if you wanted honesty that’s all you had to say.”

Your mobile sprung to life shattering the moment between you, causing you to jump apart sheepishly. You ran to the kitchen to grab it from its charger. 

‘Hotch’ it read. Why was he calling your personal mobile? 

“Y/N, are you at home? I’m just pulling up outside your apartment building. I need to speak with you.” He sounded worried. 

Your brow furrowed wondering what was so important that’d he’d drive all the way over on a Sunday.

“Yes I’m home.’

"Buzz me in please, are you in your apartment or Reids?” He knew how much time you two spent with other outside of work.

“Mine.” You heard the main door sound and walked over to the buzzer on the kitchen wall, allowing your supervisor into the building. Hotch disconnected and you saw Spencer looking confused. 

“Hotch needs to speak with me urgently apparently,” you shrugged. 

“Do you need me to leave?”

“Nah, if it’s something he doesn’t want you to know then he’ll ask you to leave when he gets here.”

Hotch knew that you’d shared the more horrific details of your past with Spencer and you figured that there wasn’t really anything he could say to you that Spencer wouldn’t eventually find out. Unless it was an urgent work matter…. But then wouldn’t the rest of the team be involved anyway?

Your door went and Spencer who was closest went over to answer it. 

"Hey boss”

Agent Hotchner was dressed casually in jeans and a polo shirt and strolled straight over to you. 

“Y/N, I need to know if you’ve had any strange phone calls or letters in the last few weeks?” His eyes were searching your face. 

“No…..why?” You shook your head, panic beginning to rise. 

“Joshua Cane is missing.”

For the second time that day you felt yourself begin to fall.


	8. Chapter 8

Both Hotch and Spencer moved forward, Hotch reaching you first and catching you under your arms before you hit the ground. 

You could feel you chest begin to tighten and your breathing quicken, your brain desperately trying to process what you’d just been told. 

“M-m-miss….. ” you couldn’t speak. “M-m-m……” you tried again. Nope it wasn’t happening. You felt yourself being led to your couch. 

“Take a deep breath Y/N, you need to slow your breathing down.” Aaron was speaking to you calmly now and crouching down on the floor in front of you.

You tried to inhale slowly but only ended up hiccuping on the air. You could feel yourself starting to get lightheaded as you started to hyperventilate. Spencer started to sit down next you but you saw Hotch shake his head. “Give her room Reid. See if you can find a paper bag.”

You saw him look at you, concern and worry clouding his eyes, then he started off to your kitchen coming back seconds later with a paper bag handing it to Hotch and then hovering behind him. 

By now you were sure you were going to pass out as you couldn’t inhale without choking on the air. Hotch opened the paper bag and handed it to you. You looked at him confused. 

“You’re having a panic attack Y/N. Take the bag and hold it to your mouth.” You did as instructed, your hands shaking with the effort. 

“Now I need you to concentrate on something, focus on a set point in the room.” You looked over his shoulder, focusing on the only thing you knew would help right now, Reid. He looked at you smiling encouragingly wringing his hands together. 

“Now breathe into the bag slowly. In and out in and out” the Agent soothed, his voice calming. “In and out Y/N. No one will hurt you. Me and Spencer are here with you. In and out slowly.”

You felt your breathing begin to slow and return to normal, feeling less light headed. After a few minutes of Aaron repeating his instructions over and over you finally felt well enough to breathe without the bag. 

“You okay?” Hotch looked at you concern back on his face. “Not going to pass out on me?“ 

You smiled weakly shaking your head. Spencer came and sat back next to you, handing you a bottle of orange juice he’d pulled from your fridge. You struggled to unscrew it, hands still feeling weak. He gently took it from you, unscrewing it and handing it back to you. You sipped from it gratefully, the sugar helping you. 

You spoke finally. “Missing?” Your voice was weak and disbelieving. 

Agent Hothner nodded. “I received a call from your mother this morning. She thought it best it come from me rather than call you herself and you not be with someone. She gathered, rather correctly that the news would upset you." 

No shit you thought to yourself.

"Missing?” You asked the same question. “But how?" 

"You are aware that as part of his early release clause, he was to remain in close contact with his parole officer, checking in physically once a week and verbally every three days from a landline that could be tracked to within a mile of his place of residence.” 

You nodded. 

“He was also electronically tagged so his movements could be monitored.” 

Again you nodded. 

“Well Joshua's last physical check in was due two days ago and he didn’t show up for it. He had completed his verbal check up three days prior to that with no issues and had mentioned to his parole office that he’d felt ill." 

"So that’s five days unaccounted for? A five day head start.” Spencer spoke.

Hotch nodded. “His parole officer raised the alarm the day after his check in was due, he’d never missed an appointment before and up until that point had met the terms of his parole religiously for the last six months.Two police officers were sent to the hostel where he was staying and when there was no response from his room, they broke the door down.”

“He’d removed his electronic tag and had attached the motion detector to the collar of cat that was roaming his room, obviously to avoid suspicion about the lack of movement. He obviously knew that if no motion what so ever was detected within a set period then an alarm would be set off.”

“He’d removed it?” Spencer questioned incredulously. 

“His major was in engineering.” You spoke remembering. 

“Yes and he’d completed his degree whilst in jail.” Hotch continued to tell you how the police had put out a nation wide bulletin and that all airports had been made aware and security footage for the last five days for all train stations and airports were being checked. 

“He wouldn’t have an valid passport though?” You spoke quietly. 

“No but it’s easy enough to get one if you have the right contacts.” Reid replied. 

“Y/N has he ever made contact with you when he was inside?” Hotch asked you. 

You nodded. “He wrote me a letter a year after the attack, apologising and begging my forgiveness. He said he loved me and would do anything for my forgiveness. I didn’t write back.” You’d been disgusted when you’d received it, smashing up every plate in your parents kitchen in anger. 

“Okay. We have options Y/N” Hotch spoke again. You knew where this was going and shook your head. 

“I’m not hiding sir. I was offered a new identity after the attack and I refused it then. I’ve made a new life for myself here and I’m not going into custody.”

“Are you sure Y/N?” Spencer took your hand. 

“I’m sure. It’s not happening.”

Agent Hothner nodded. “I accept your decision Y/N and respect it. Obviously it is relatively easy to find out what you do for a living though if you Google your name. Although you working for the FBI should deter him if it his intention to find you.”

“I know that, but it doesn’t say where I live or any other details.” You’d checked previously. 

“Okay. I’m going to have a unit placed outside your building in an unmarked car until we know he’s been taken into custody again then. You can continue to work cases but you will be not be sent on any solo interviews. If we’re on a case that requires a hotel stay, you will have to share a room with someone. You will be fitted tomorrow for a lightweight vest that you can easily wear under your clothes without drawing attention to it. You will wear it in public, no arguments.”

You nodded accepting his terms. 

“If you do need to run errands outside of work, do not go alone. Call Reid or myself and I’ll have an officer accompany you if need be.” he continued. “Do you want me to inform the rest of the team?" 

You shook your head. "Not yet. Hopefully he’ll be apprehended quickly and I can get on with my life.” You knew that if he was caught, he’d be locked up for years having violated his parole. 

“Fair enough.” Hotch nodded at you. “I’m sure you know the rest of the drill by now. Any suspicious activity, any strange phone calls or packages, you report it immediately.” He reeled off the rest of the instructions you were all used to giving to victims of crime. 

He stood to leave. “I need to make some phone calls and get the security detail arrange for you. I’ll let you know the details when arrangements have been made. I think you should call your parents, they’ll be waiting to hear from you Y/N.”

“I will sir, thank you.”

“We won’t let anything happen to you Y/N,” he promised before leaving, Spencer closing the door behind him. 

“Are you okay?” Spender looked at you, moving to give you a hug. You dodged it.

“Please don’t hug me just yet Spencer. I’ll break if you do. I need to make some calls okay." 

He nodded at you understanding and settled down on your couch as you headed into your bedroom to call your parents. 

You came of the phone with them an hour later seeing you had a message from Hotch giving you the names of the officers and vehicles that had been assigned to you. You went to your bedroom window seeing the car parked just up the road. 

You sat back down in the centre of your bed and began to sob. Spencer heard you and was in your room within seconds. You looked at him tearfully as he climbed on to your bed to hold you. You clung to him. 

"Nothings going to happen to you Y/N. We won’t let it.” he spoke quietly but with such conviction that you desperately hoped he was right.


	9. Chapter 9

Six weeks passed and Joshua Cane still hadn’t been caught. You were trying to go about your life as normal and not let it get to you, but it was kinda hard knowing that the man who had assaulted and tried to kill you was on the loose and no one had a clue where he was. 

Agent Hotcher had remained in close contact with the authorities in the UK and kept you informed daily of any news. There had been sightings of him in Scotland, Wales and finally France. Interpol had naturally become involved. You spoke to your parents on a regular basis assuring them that you were fine and no, you didn’t want them to fly out to be with you.

Hotch had honoured your request and not revealed anything to the rest of the team, and he’d made sure that when you were out on cases, you were never left alone. When the case required a stay over he made sure that you and Spencer were given a room together, and when he tired of Morgan's teasing he placed you in rooms next door to each other instead, knowing that one of you would eventually creep into the others room. 

The security detail remained in place outside of your apartment at all times, and different officers tailed you in unmarked police cars to and from work when you were back in the city. You got used to seeing their faces and recognising their vehicles. 

Spencer rarely left your side outside of work. He refused to leave you during the night and although you protested stating that he was just downstairs and would hear a commotion if anything were to happen, you were secretly glad of his company. 

After the first few nights of him sleeping on your couch you’d finally convinced him to share your bed. It was completely innocent, although some mornings you did wake up to his arms wrapped around you and his legs tangled up in yours. You never spoke of it during the day. You’d taken to spending a few nights in each apartment so he got chance to spend time at his place too.

Your 28th birthday had come and gone, you and the team celebrating quietly with Rossi cooking a meal for you all at his house. You’d received various gifts from them all including a pair of gorgeous heels and a matching bag from Penelope and Emily. Your favourite had been from Reid. He’d gifted you a beautiful charm bracelet, the charms all meaning something to you. They included a moomin charm, which you’d told him was your favorite show as a kid, a white rabbit which was in obvious reference to the first edition of Alice in Wonderland you kept on your bookshelf, as well as charms representing the various countries and states you’d told Spencer you’d lived in. It was so thoughtful you’d wanted to cry with happiness when he’d given it to you. Instead you’d hugged him tightly, kissing him on his cheek and asked him to put it on you. It now rarely left you wrist. 

It was Friday and you and the team had returned from a case in Phoenix the day before and were busy completing the mounds of paperwork that had come with it. You and Prentiss had gone for a quick lunch in the cafeteria and had stepped into the elevator ready to return to your floor. Two Agents from the floor below yours stepped in as well, nodding in greeting to you both. 

You could hear them talking between themselves as you waited for the elevator to move. 

“Hey, did you hear that they still haven’t caught that English bastard who jumped his parole?”

You stiffened watching the numbers of the floors pass, desperately trying to block them out. The case had garnered some attention in the states, but not much thankfully. 

“I know,” you heard the other agent reply. “It’s ridiculous isn’t it. He should have never been released in the first place.” 

You wholeheartedly agreed with him but kept quiet. 

“Did you read what he did to that girl who he attacked,” the agent continued. 

That was it. You hit the button for the next floor, not bothered that you were still two floors away from the BAU. You flew through the doors as soon as they opened heading straight into the nearest bathroom. 

You stood staring at yourself in the mirror. 

“Get it together Y/N,” you whispered to yourself, breathing heavily. 

The door opened and Emily entered. You hadn’t realised she’d followed you. 

“Are you okay?” she asked quietly. You nodded turning the cold water tap on and splashing some water on your face. You were just about the feed her some excuse about you feeling ill when she spoke again. 

“They will catch him Y/N.”

“You know then?” Your voice cracked. She nodded. 

“I’ve known all along. I just didn’t want to crowd you or make you feel uncomfortable. If you need to talk to someone other than Reid or Hotcher, I’m here too. Just so you know.”

You smiled at her gratefully.

“Thanks Emily. It’s just……too much sometimes. Hearing those other agents talk about it like they were……” you trailed off knowing she’d understand. 

She nodding sympathetically studying your face. “You know what you need?” she asked after a few moments. You shook your head. “A night out. To forget about everything. A night with the girls in definitely in order.”

You laughed thinking that actually she could be right. Aside from work, you and Reid barely left your apartment building except to go to the gym. You’d both decided to up your fitness levels wanting to be extra certain that you’d be able to defend yourselves if anything were to happen. “But I’m not supposed to go anywhere without Reid, Hotch or an escort.”

“You leave that to me Y/N don’t you worry. Tonight we shall dance and be merry. Now come on, let’s get back.”

You followed her back into the corridor, up the stairs this time. She walked straight over to Spencer notioning for him to follow her into Hotches office. 

They came out fifteen minutes later, Spencer looking very unsure. “Just ask her Reid.” Emily prompted him. 

“You sure about this?” He was watching you carefully. 

“Yes, she’s right. A girls night out is just what I need.”

Emily smiled. “It’s all sorted then. I’ve told Hotch the bar we’ll be in and he’s going to arrange to have an officer parked outside in an unmarked car just in case. I’m gonna go tell Garcia she needs to get her dancing shoes on okay.”

Spencer spoke again.“ I want you to call me when you’re ready to come home. I’ll come pick you up.”

“Of course Dr. You always are my personal chauffeur on nights out.” you grinned back, actually looking forward to tonight now. 

………………………………………………. 

It was 1:10am and you were drunk. You hadn’t intended to be, but Garcia had kept buying you pretty cocktails that tasted just like fruit juice. Before you knew it you were pulling them to the dance floor. 

Spencer had texted you every thirty minutes or so. Each time you’d replied with an ‘I’m okay.’ although the last one you’d sent had read ’m okie’. He’d get the point. You’d seen Emily replying to a few messages herself. “Hotch checking in” she’d told you when Penelope had gone to get drinks. 

You’d just finished dancing to Sex on Fire and had texted Reid asking him to pick you up in twenty minutes. At least that’s what you’d tried to write. He’d responded saying he’d be there soon so he must have understood. 

Penelope had pulled you both over to a quieter corner needing to rest her feet. She had an evil glint in her eyes. 

“Speaking of sex”. She giggled referring to the song you’d just been dancing to. “How is the good Dr in bed?” You spat out the water you’d been about to swallow. 

“Garcia! You can’t ask her that! I don’t wanna…. ” Emily began and then stopped “actually you know what? I kinda do wanna know.”

You stared at them both feeling your cheeks flame.

“ Come on Y/N! Share!” Penelope clapped her hands together. Emily looked amused. 

“We… Erm…havent slept together guys.”

“Whaaat” they both exclaimed. 

“We’re not dating. We’re still just friends. Nothings happened between us.”

“But, but, Derek says that you’re always sneaking into each other rooms on cases and stuff.” Fuck…. So he had noticed. 

“We just like spending time together” you hiccupped. 

“Bullshit….There’s something more between you two. You need to get your shit together. You’d make such beautiful babies” Penelope wobbled in her chair.

“Well when you eventually find out what he’s like in the sack, you must share. I’ve aways kinda wondered.”

“To be honest so have I.” Emily joined in, you raised your eyes at her. “What?” she laughed. “He’s so quiet and sensitive, but you know he must have learnt something from all of the books he’s devoured.”

You laughed with her secretly agreeing with her. Your phone buzzed signalling he was outside. You offered the girls a ride as they followed you out but they declined both stating they’d share a cab as they lived in the opposite direction. 

You opened the car door, taking three attempts to climb into the vehicle and five attempts to fasten your seat belt. Reid laughed at you. “You’re drunk.”

“Nuh uh” you shook your head waving at the girls out of the window, hearing Garcias parting shot to you “remember to find out!“ 

"Find out what?” Spencer asked as he pulled away heading home. 

You laughed “Nothing” you reached for the dials on the stereo trying to find something decent. 

“You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you.” Nine Inch Nails was playing on one of the rock stations. You started singing along quietly. 

You got the chorus and Spencer quickly reached out and changed stations to an easy listening station instead. You looked at him “I like that song.”

“Just no” was his response. Pffft you thought. 

You drove the rest of the way in silence and you could feel yourself start to drift off he pulled up to your building. He got out of the car walking around and opening your door. 

You undid your seat belt and grabbed your bag from the footwell, you stumbled as you got out of the car. You felt like your legs were made out jelly. You giggled “My legs feel squishy. Like they’re not made of anything.”

You tried to walk but just ended up crashing into Spencer. “I’m gonna kill Prentiss tomorrow” you heard him mutter. He locked the car, keeping his key chain in his hand. “Put your arms around my neck” he instructed you. You obliged, feeling him then lean down and lift you into his arms. 

You snuggled into his neck as he carried you into the building having to bend at an awkward angle to unlock the main door. 

You giggled again remembering you were wearing a dress. “I bet people can see my panties like this” you thought to yourself. 

“There’s no one else up to see them Y/N.” Spencer replied a smile in his voice. Obviously you’d spoken out loud. Ooops. 

“You’re up. You can see them”

“I can’t, not the way I’m carrying you. Plus I’ve already seen them remember.” you did, remembering how you’d spilt the contents of your underwear on the first day you’d met. 

“Oh yeah! You’ve touched them too!” You chucked. “You could touch them again if you like. Like the ones I’m wearing now.”

Fuck….. You were drunk. Your internal filter had clearly given up completely. 

“Be quiet Y/N.” was his only response. You’d reached your apartment and he opened the door awkwardly, kicking it shut and walking to your bedroom depositing you on your bed. 

He tried to stand but your arms remained around his neck. “Let go!” he laughed. 

“No. You smell nice” you’d nestled your nose against his neck smelling his glorious hair. You tugged him so he sat on the bed next to you. “You smell like apples.” you commented. 

“It’s just my shampoo. It’s the same one I use all the time.”

“I bet you taste nice too.” You heard him inhale sharply as you flicked your tongue out licking the skin of his neck softly. He tasted warm and slightly salty. But nice.

Emboldened by the booze, you started to crawl onto his lap, feeling him tense up as you straddled his thighs. You started kissing a line from his ear across his jaw, your hands running down his shirt to his buttons. 

“Wait….” He squeaked grabbing your wrists as they started fiddling his buttons. “What are you doing.”

“Taking your shirt off….oh wait. Did you want to do that part?" 

"W-why?” he stammered. 

“Because we can’t have sex with our clothes on silly.” wasn’t it obvious? 

He stood up suddenly at the point, unclamping your legs from around his waist and pushing you back onto the bed. 

“We’re not having sex Y/N” he said sharply. 

Oh….. Wait what? You eyes narrowed at him not used to rejection. 

“Oh come on Spencer I know you like me. And you know I like you. Don’t you wanna fu….”

Spencer butted in loudly “Do NOT finish that sentence Y/N.” He glared at you. 

What was wrong with him? Maybe he just didn’t like you using the word fuck in reference to sex. You tried again. "What’s wrong? You can’t tell me you don’t want me. I can use a different word if you like. Fuck, shag, bang, do, make love.“ you said the last word mockingly watching him put his head in his hands. 

Wait….Maybe you were wrong. "You don’t want me?" 

"I’m not having this conversation with you when you’re fucked out of your head.” he growled almost, running his hands through his hair exasperated. Spencer didn’t swear very often so you knew you’d hit a nerve. 

Still, in your drunken state you pushed on. “That’s it isn’t it. You’ve changed your mind. That’s why in the past six months you’ve not made a move. You don’t want me because of what happened to me.”

He snapped looking angry. “Fine, have it your way” he was almost shouting. Shit…. You thought. 

“Yes I want you. Fuck, shag, bang, do, make love” he ticked the words off on his fingers as he spat them out “I want to do all of those things to you and a hell of a lot more. But I do not want our first time together to be when you are that off your head that you won’t even remember it in the morning.”

You stared at him shocked.

He softened slightly realising that his voice was raised. “I don’t want to remember our first kiss tasting of tequila and vodka and God knows what else those girls have poured down your throat." 

"So you do still like me?” You asked timidly. 

He nodded and sat back down. “Yes, more than ever. But I can’t let myself get distracted by you when there’s a man who tried to murder you running around somewhere. If I let my guard down then I won’t be able to protect you and that terrifies me”

You nodded as he continued. “I should have made a move earlier but I was scared. I didn’t know how to. And then I was sure you were going to kiss me that day you forced me to dance and then…. Well you know what happened.” You nodded again. 

You coughed and spoke quietly. "So what happens after. When he is caught?“ 

Spencer looked thoughtful for a moment before smiling. "Maybe you could make me dance with you again and we’ll see what happens?” You grinned back at him as he stood up to leave the room. “Now get some sleep.”

“You’re not staying?” You questioned. “I won’t try to jump you again I promise.”

He smirked at you “I’ll take my chances with the couch tonight to be on the safe side. Plus you snore when you’re drunk.”

“I do not!” you threw a pillow at the door just as he ducked out closing it. 

You slept for a few hours and then awoke in an empty bed not liking it. You crept into the living room and lifted the blanket Spencer was sleeping under climbing under it with him.

Immediately you felt his arms wrap around you and you fell back to sleep soundly.


	10. Chapter 10

You awoke again a few hours later feeling horrendous. You glanced at your wall clock. It read 8:40am, your weekend alarm would be going off at nine. You were still nestled tightly against Spencers side and you could feel his warm breath blowing softly against your neck. His arm had crept inside your tee-shirt as you’d slept, resting gently against your tummy. It did that sometimes when he was sleeping, you not minding at all. 

It was strange how close you two got when you shared a bed together, yet you both struggled to actually talk about your feelings for each other when you were awake. Up until last night that was. 

You cringed internally remembering the things you’d said to him. Still, at least you’d got a reaction and knew he hadn’t changed his mind about you. You’d been shocked at what he’d said though. ‘Fuck, bang, shag, do and make love and a hell of a lot more’. As angry as he’d looked when he’d been almost shouting at you, he’d never looked more sexy. 

Spencer never spoke like that and hearing those words coming out of his mouth, well you just wanted climb on top of him then. During your many conversations, the topic of sex had come up a few times and you’d managed to get him to tell you that he’d had sex with two girls previously, him blushing bright red as he’d mumbled. You’d been quite sure that if things ever did change between you then you’d need to lead the way and show him how to touch you, but given what he’d said last night, perhaps that wasn’t the case. Fuck….You wiggled slightly feeling warm just thinking about it. 

Spencer stirred slightly but didn’t wake up. You felt his hand start to move, drawing light circles on your stomach. It tickled slightly but you let him continue, enjoying the sensation. You felt him move closer to you burying his head in your neck and pressing himself against your back. 

You couldn’t tell if he was asleep or awake now, his breathing hadn’t changed but his hand was inching further and further up your stomach, dangerously close to your breasts. This was…..New.

You weren’t sure whether to wake him up or not when you’d heard him mumble sleepily “Hey”, his hand continuing its circles. Okay…..So he was awake, or at least half awake. 

“Hey. I’m sorry about last night” you whispered, not daring to move. “S'okay” his reply was quiet “Do you remember what you said to me?”

You nodded “I’m sorry I tried to jump you” you remembered your clumsy attempts at seduction “Well not sorry that I tried, just sorry that I tried like that.”

His hand was still moving on your stomach and you were beginning to feel quite uncomfortable.“Well to be honest it was nice to hear that you found me so irriestible” you could hear a smile in his sleepy voice. 

You laughed softly “I do. And I can’t wait for this all to be over.“ 

"Me too” he whispered back his hand creeping higher again. It was right underneath your breasts now, if he moved again then you were definitely in dangerous territory. 

“You smell like a brewery you know?”

“I know.” you were sure you did. “I bet you taste like one too.” He echoed your words from last night. 

“Probably” you mumbled. You felt something soft and moist swipe across the pulse point on your neck as his hand moved up again actually cupping your breast this time.

Your breath hitched in your throat, realising he’d just licked your neck and you shuddered at the sensation. What the fuck was he playing at. He paused for a moment and then when he was sure you weren’t going to move his hand away, resumed making the same circular motion, this time just with his thumb….. Right over your nipple. 

Your lips parted and a soft moan snuck out. What he was doing felt amazing. 

He licked your neck again, this time sucking slightly. “Nope, I taste sweat, stale smoke and booze. Definitely not what I expected you to taste like.” He sounded like he was almost mocking you now. 

“W-what did you expect me to taste like?” You almost whimpered. This was not fair, not fair at all. He’d moved to your other breast now, his fingers dancing across your chest. 

“Cake…. Like that vanilla spray you always wear.”

“If I tasted like cake, would that make you wanna eat me?” It came out sounding ruder than you’d intended but at that moment in time you didn’t care. 

“I already wanna eat you Y/N” Fuucck, you arched your back, pressing into him as he pinched and pulled lightly at your hard peaks. 

“Eat you, lick you, taste you all over.” You felt him push back against you grinding ever so gently against your ass. You could feel him, all of him and you could tell he was enjoying this too. 

“Spencer you said we couldn’t.” your words were barely audible now. 

“And we’re not. I’m just….. Playing.”

‘Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw, play all you want’ you thought. You couldn’t stop the loud moan that escaped you then. 

He continued for a few more moments, alternating between lightly twisting and then softly rubbing your nipples, still kissing and sucking your neck, rubbing himself against your ass as he did. He groaned as he did. That had to be one of the sexiest sounds you’d heard ever. 

It had been so long since you’d had any sort of sexual contact that you’d could feel your orgasm building inside you quickly. Normally you took care of yourself frequently but with Spencer spending nights with you, you had very little time to yourself and hadn’t been able to. Just when you were sure you were there, your alarm went off…..loudly. 

Spencer pulled his hands from under your shirt and climbed over you quickly hopping off the couch and swiping your phone to disable the alarm. 

“Time to get up Y/N.” he was smirking at you, the sexy little shit. 

You stared at him in disbelief, panting slightly. Really…. REALLY??? He was stopping now?

“You bastard!”

He arched his eyebrows at you and shrugged. “What? It’s time to get up. I’m off for a shower." 

"Fancy some company?” You called after him as he headed to your door intending on going back to his own apartment to shower. 

“No thanks. And I suggest you have one yourself whilst I’m gone. You reek. I’ll be back soon.” You could hear him laughing as he locked your front door behind him. 

You lifted yourself off your couch both hating him but also never having felt as turned on before as you did right then. 

You headed off to your bathroom for a shower….. A cold one.


	11. Chapter 11

The weekend had been a strange one. After Spencers little stunt on Saturday morning you’d been hyper aware of him whenever he was nearby. He seemed like a completely different guy when he was with you alone now, not different in a bad way. Different in an……he knew you found him attractive and was trying to wind you up way.

On the Saturday, he’d insisted that you go out for the day, dragging you around some of the local museums. Even in your hungover state you’d enjoyed yourself, even more when Spencer had taken your hand whilst you were walking together. Every so often though when you were stood admiring an exhibit, you’d felt his hand graze over the curve of your ass.

The first few times you’d thought it was accidental and hadn’t reacted but then the hand had started to linger for longer, occasionally pinching. When you’d turned to look at him, there was a playful smile on his face. “Stop it” you’d whispered. He’d just shrugged and walked off to look at another exhibit. ‘Two can play at that game’ you’d thought to yourself but as you’d stood behind him reaching your hand out he’d moved, spinning aroundand grabbing your wrist.

“Don’t even think about it” he’d smirked and linked his fingers with yours.

When you’d gone to bed that night he’d wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you close and had fallen into a steady sleep straight away, whilst you’d lain there awake feeling his hands on your stomach. When you’d woken in the morning and could feel him pressing against you, you’d thought this was the perfect opportunity to get him back and had stretched out, wriggling and pressing your butt against the hard bulge you could feel behind you. He’d just gripped your hips hard stilling you and whispered “Behave” into your ear sexily before rolling over and jumping out of bed.

You’d glared at him “Why is it okay for you to tease me?”  
“I’m not teasing you.”

“Yes, you are. You’re the one who said we couldn’t do anything until Joshua Cane was back behind bars and yet you spent most of yesterday groping me, but when I try to do the same back you stop me.”

“I’ve told you why, if I let myself get distracted by you then I’ll let my guard down.” He came and sat back down on the bed next to you, his big brown eyes searing into you.

‘Pfffft’ you thought. You couldn’t quite understand his reasoning really.

“But doesn’t it get to you?”

“What.” He smiled raising his eyebrows.

“Not being able to……well…..you know!” You couldn’t work out why, but suddenly you felt slightly shy. Normally you were the confident one, you’d never been shy about sex even after what had happened. It was like suddenly the tables had been reversed.

“Have sex you mean?” No stuttering, no blushing, no nothing.   
You nodded and he shook his head as he continued “It’s not like I was having a lot of it before anyway. I’ve learnt to push those needs to one side and deal with them in other ways. Plus, i’m actually enjoying winding you up, it’s fun.”

You cocked your head at him “How so?”

He thought for a moment “Well I’ve never really felt……..wanted before. And knowing that someone as amazing and beautiful as you does, has kinda given me a bit more confidence to try things. I’ve never really flirted with anyone before.” He looked so sweet then but you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Spence what you were doing yesterday was hardly flirting. It was more like foreplay. Especially yesterday morning. That was definately foreplay…….It was totally unexpected.”

“Well then maybe I’ll continue to suprise you.” Cocky Spencer was back.

“I really really hope so.”  
………

You showered and dressed for the day and then you both headed out deciding to go for a walk in the local park after you’d grabbed a late brunch. After walking for a while, you both sat down under a tree by a duck pond. You noticed a patch of daisies and began picking them, making a chain outof them.

“I used to do this all the time when I was a little girl back home in England. I’d make my parents chains too, my mum always wearing hers around her neck and my Dad wearing his on his head as a crown.” 

You motioned to Spencer to bow his head to you and you placed the daisies on his head like a crown giggling at him.

“I like hearing you talk about England Y/N. Tell me some more?” Spencer settled back, leaning against the tree looking quite ridiculous with the flowers in his hair but not removing them. You rested against him, shimmying down on the ground and using the light jacket you’d bought with you as a pillow, placing it against his leg.

You rambled on for a while longer stopping when you heard him chuckling to himself.

“What?”

“One of the reasons I like hearing you talk about England is because your accent becomes more pronouced. Its nice. When you speak at work, you sound more American. I bet you don’t even realise.” You didn’t.

Your phone buzzed. Garcia ‘Dinner tonight at Rossi’s? 7pm!’ You relayed the message to Spence texting her back and letting her know you’d be there. He tugged you up from the ground shaking the daisies out of his hair. He wanted to head to a bookshop nearby. 

You followed him around the store weaving in and out of the bookshelves, him thumbing through the titles. You were in a corner, out of sight from the main store and you spied a title on the shelf high above you. You decided to try to have a little bit of fun yourself. 

You stood on the litte stool that was available and plucked the volume of the shelf, hopping down and handing it to Spencer.

“Do you think we should get this Spence?“You raised your eyebrows at him suggestively.

He took the book out of your hands eyeing the title and flicking through the pages.

“The Karma Sutra Y/N.” He scoffed. He moved in front of you leaning up with one hand and placed the book back on the shelf. His other hand traced a trail from your neck, down over your clothes moving tantilizingly slow over your breast and then stopping just above the waistband of your jeans. “Do you really think we’ll need that?”

“N-no” you stuttered. Fuck, you never stuttered. You started to push away from him but he blocked you pushing you back against the bookcase and lowering his lips to your ear.

“I read that book in college Y/N” His hand moved lower followng the seam of your jeans down before resting between your thighs. He applied pressure so that he was cupping you and were sure he could feel how warm you were. “Eidetic memory remember.”

You wanted to move against his hand so badly then, hating how he’d turned this around.

“You look a little flushed Y/N.” He pulled his lips back from your ear and was staring at you, a smirk playing on his lips yet again. He still hadn’t moved his hand. You bit your lip hard to keep from speaking, knowing that if you opened your mouth no coherant words would come out. He pulled his had away slowly, dragging his fingers against you as he did.

“Best go pay for these.” He grabbed the pile of books he’d accumulated and headed around the stacks to the cashiers desk, leaving you simmering against the bookcase.

When he returned a few minutes later, you’d just about managed to compose yourself.

“Ready to go Y/N. If we’re going to Rossi’s later we should head back to get cleaned up.” He took your hand leading you out of the shop and out back on the sidewalk.

“I hate you” You muttered to him hearing his delicious laugh in response.  
………………

Dinner at Rossi’s was relatively uneventful. Good food, good wine and good company. Penelope cornered you outside of the bathroom asking whether “You’d found out yet” referring to your drunken conversation. You badly wanted to tell her about this new turn of events but didnt quite trust her not to say anything to Morgan.

You’d worn a short black dress for dinner, knowing you looked good when Reid’s eyes had widened when he’d seen you come out of your room asking him to zip you up. Throughout dinner he’d kept one hand on your thigh underneath the table cloth. Although he behaved this time simply allowing his hand to rest there, you couldn’t help but feel on edge.

When you’d got back to the apartment that night Spencer had pulled you in for hug “You looked beautiful tonight” he smiled sweetly at you. You’d both changed for bed, you pulling on an old tee shirt and shorts.

You talked some before settling down to sleep, you hearing his breathing regulate after a while indicating he was fast off.

You mind wandered thinking back over the events of the last few days and the change in Spencers behaviour towards you. When you’d been around the team this evening he’d reverted back to his normal self, even stuttering slightly when Derek made his usual teasing comments.

When you remembered what he done in the book shop you started to feel warm and restless. Normally you’d just…..take care of it, but Spencer was right beside you. You wiggled out of his embrace and pushed the bed covers off hoping to cool air would help.

Nope……The urge was still there. You glanced over at Spencer checking he was still asleep, his eyes closed and his lips parted as he snored softly.

Fuck it.

You pushed your tee shirt up exposing your breasts, the cold hair hitting your nipples making them almost instantly hard. You licked your fingertips lightly and started teasing your right nipple, rolling it between your fingertips lightly. Slipping your other hand into your panties, you began to rub yourself. You closed your eyes, imagining that it wasn’t your hand doing the work but that of the beautiful man who lay next to you.

You bit down on your lip to keep from moaning out loud as you felt your orgasm building.

“Enjoying yourself there?”

FUCK.

Your eyes flew open to see Spencer propped on his side, a lazy grin on his face. You started to pull your hand out of your panties, blushing furiously. He reached out stopping you, locking eyes with you.

“Carry on” He whispered.   
You nodded resuming the work you’d been doing but watching Spencers eyes roam all over your body.

“Fuck, you look so beautiful right now Y/N.”

You whimpered at his words, tension building in your legs. Spencer licked his lips moving forward on the bed.

“Are you thinking of me whilst you do that?” His voice low and gravelly. You nodded, your fingers moving faster against yourself.

In one sudden move he lowered his mouth to your exposed breasts, sucking a nipple between his lips, flicking his tongue out over it. That was all it took.  
“Fuck” He groaned feeling you shudder next to him as your orgasm burned through your body. You didn’t even try to contain your moans as his teeth grazed your nipple, biting softly.

“That had to have been to most beautiful thing I’ve seen” Spencer mumbled softly to you stroking your hair away from your hair as you lay next to him panting softly. You wanted to feel embarrassed but instead you did feel beatiful.

“Spence” You whispered softly.

“Hmmmmm?” 

You rolled over to look at him. “I know you said we couldn’t and I don’t want that. At least not right now. I’m good for a few days providing you don’t start messing with me again. Its just…” You reached out stroking his jaw softly. “We’ve never actually kissed.”

“I know.” He whispered, his own hand reaching for your face,stroking you cheek lightly.

“I want to change that.”

You both leaned in at the same time, your lips meeting together. It was a sweet kiss, his lips soft and gentle, moving against yours slowly. Your lips parted, your tongue slipping out to meet his, him tasting of the red wine you’d had with dinner. 

It wasn’t a hot, earth shattering kiss. It was loving and affectionate. It was perfect.

You pulled apart after a few moments seeing him smile at you. You nestled close to him, feeling very sleepy all of a sudden.

Just as you were drifting off you heard a whisper.  
“I love you Y/N.”

“I love you too Spencer Reid”


	12. Chapter 12

You woke up the next feeling the happiest you’d felt in a long time. As you’d showered and made breakfast you genuinely felt like dancing around to “You make my dreams come true” just like Joseph Gordon-Levitt did in that movie you could never remember the name of. 

You and Spencer had smiled shyly at each other when you’d woken up. It wasn’t the things you’d done last night, it was the words that had been spoken afterwards when you’d been drifting off to sleep. Although neither of you mentioned it, you both knew it had happened.

You’d pulled Spencer in for a kiss just before you’d left the apartment seeing him hesitate slightly before he bent his lips to yours. 

“No more Y/N.” he said afterwards. 

You pouted "And why not.“

"Because I said we couldn’t do anything until this was over.”

“Well perhaps you shouldn’t have done what you did last night then Spencer.” You raised your eyebrows at him remembering the look in his eyes last night. 

He smirked “Technically I barely did anything last night except watch. Although I’m more than prepared to watch again.”

“Nope. If you’re not prepared to participate until this is over then I’ll just have to make sure I’m actually alone next time.” You attempted to turn the tables back on him and make him feel uncomfortable. “Next time I’m off in the bath, you’ll just have to imagine what I’m doing without you.”

He laughed instead.“Eidetic memory Y/N. I don’t have to imagine. It’s all stored up here” he tapped his head before continuing. “In fact I already replayed that little movie in my head once this morning when I was in the shower.”

He strutted off to your front door leaving you standing there speechless.“Coming Y/N?” he called. 

‘Hopefully very soon you’ thought to yourself

……….. 

You and Penelope were sat in your office sorting through case files and selecting the ones that could be dealt with via a telephone consultation instead. These would be given to Agent Hotchner for him to divvy out amongst the rest of the profilers. 

You’d kept one file to aside. Two girls had been murdered, stabbed to death within three weeks of another and the case was local. Both were college age and had the same physical description. Black hair, blue eyes. The first girl had been found in her dorm room by her roommate, and although her boyfriend had been arrested on suspicion and was still the main suspect, he’d be let out on bail having had an alibi. 

The second girl had been found in the doorway of a local Indian restaurant where you and Spencer sometimes grabbed take out from. The security cameras though had proven useless having been been fakes and given that the girl hadn’t been sexually assaulted like the first and her hand bag was missing, the police had put it down to a mugging gone wrong. 

The age and the physical similarities between the two girls though had caused the cases to be passed to the BAU for review. 

Rossi and Prentiss were off site for the day, having been asked to interview a death row inmate for the bureaus extensive records. 

At around noon, Spencer and Morgan knocked on your office door. “Hey gorgeous girls, we’re heading out to pick up some lunch. Do you wanna come with?” Morgan asked. 

You and Garcia looked around at the piles of paperwork surrounding you. “I’ll stay here boys. Plenty of work to do and I’d hate to leave my office looking a mess.”

“I’ll stay too then. Can you bring us some food back?” Penelope gave her order to Morgan and then you reeled off yours. 

“Are you sure you didn’t want to come Y/N. I know now how you sometimes like to take care of things yourself." 

You eyes snapped to Spencers not quite believing what he’d said. What sounded relatively innocent to some definitely did not to you. 

Trying to remain composed you replied "No thanks Spence. I trust you to get it right for me on this occasion.” You smiled sweetly. 

“Oh I’ll get it right on every occasion Agent Y/N.”

Derek and Garcias heads had been tooing and throwing, eyeing you both throughout the exchange wondering what they were missing. “Come on genius, let’s go. You can flirt with Y/N later.”

As they left the room, Penelope ran to your office door slamming it shut. 

“ Spill” she demanded. You shook your head at her. “There’s nothing to spill.”

“Don’t you lie to me now missy. He’s been acting different all day. I could have sworn he winked at me earlier when I gave him his coffee, and he’s barely reacted to Dereks taunts all day.”

She narrowed her eyes suspiciously.“ Oh my god. You’ve done it!” she clapped. “What was it like. Is he good. Is he a genius in bed as well as out?”

“ Penelope shut up. We haven’t done it.”

“Somethings happened though…..Tell meeee. You know I live for the moment you two finally get it together. You’re my otp.”

You remained silent. She changed track. 

“Fine. Be like that. I thought we were friends Y/N. Aside from Reid I thought I was your best friend here. We’ve grown pretty close over the last few months. I thought if something important was happening in your life you’d tell me.”

Damn it!! You put down the case file you were currently reading. 

“Pen if I tell you this, you CANNOT tell anyone. And that includes Derek. There will be no teasing, no off hand remarks, nothing.”

She nodded furiously “Whatever you say. Just spill, I’m dying here.”

You filled her in on what had happened over the weekend, watching her jaw slowly drop and her cheeks blush as you got to the events of last night. By the time you got to the end, she was actually using the file she was holding to fan herself. 

“Fuuuck.” It wasn’t often Penelope Garcia was speechless but hearing about what a tease Reid had become in the space of a few days had apparently done it. 

“This is Reid we’re talking about right? Tall lanky pretty thing that struggles to talk to attractive women without rambling or stuttering…….” You nodded at her. 

“Well fuck me sideways.”

You burst out laughing at her remark and the gobsmacked look that was still on her face. 

“And why is he refusing to actually sleep with you again?”

You’d had to change your story slightly here as Penelope didn’t know about Joshua Cane. 

“He said he wants to wait til we’ve been officially dating for at least a month.”

“And are you… Officially dating?”

You thought back to the end of last night where the 'I love yous’ had been exchanged. 

“I guess so. But you cannot say anything to anyone yet Garica.”  
She huffed. “Fine but I get first dibs as bridesmaid okay.” You laughed at her. “Okay”. 

The guys came back handing over your lunches and then going back to their desks to eat. You and Penelope ate as you worked. Every so often you glanced up and out into the bull pen seeing both Morgan and Spencer leaning over various files themselves, reading and working. 

Spencer had always had a habit of biting and licking his bottom lip. Most of the time it was an unconscious habit and you’d always thought it was cute but right now watching him do it was driving you crazy. You were sure he knew you were watching and was doing it on purpose.

“Garcia are you going to eat that?” You nodded towards the piece of fruit that she’d left. “Probably not. Have it if you want it.”

“Thanks.” You took it and unpeeled it. 

You grabbed a folder and buzzed Spenders desk phone, signalling him to come to your office. 

“Reid I need you to take a look at this file straight away.”

He took it out of hand, eyes going to the piece of fruit that was in your other hand. You grinned at him, locking eyes and slowly put the banana to your mouth, taking a huge bite.

He turned and fled the office, scurrying back down to the his desk.   
YES!!!   
Victory.   
You’d finally scored a point. 

Your phone buzzed signalling a text message.   
“The folders empty Y/N”  
“I know”  
“Was there really any need for that little display?”  
“Yep…..You were messing with me again.”

“You keep biting and licking your lips. You need to stop.”

“Cos I wanna bite them and lick them for you.”  
You saw him smirk across the office.   
“All in good time Y/N.”

“Ladies. We’ve got a case.” Agent Hotchner walked into your office.

“Have we sir?” Penelope asked. “We’ve not finished sorting yet.”

“Yes, this one’s come to me directly. You’re aware that the bodies of two eighteen year old females have been found locally in the past three weeks.”

You nodded.“I have the files here Hotch, for review. Has there been another?" 

"Yes. A male and a female, with the same physical description as the others were found this morning in Catton Park. We’ve been asked to step in.”

That was the park you and Spencer had been walking in yesterday. 

You made copies of the original two cases whilst Hotch motioned for Derek and Spencer to join you in the office, advising he’d fill Rossi and Emily in via phone when they were done with their interview. 

When you were all seated he handed out the copies along with the new file. You’d already read the first two this morning so you skipped straight to the third. 

The file included a crime scene photo taken this morning and when you saw that photo, your blood ran cold. 

The male and female were posed sat underneath the same tree you and Spencer had been, the male with his back to the tree and the female lying on him with her head in his lap. 

The male had a crown of daisies on his head.


	13. Chapter 13

You stared at the picture in front of you.

It couldn’t be.

Yet it had to be true.

“Spencer” You whispered, pushing the photo towards him.

The others stared at you wondering what was going on.

Reid took the photo looking at it, taking the image in.

“Hotch, it’s him.”

Hearing Spencer speak the words you hoped so badly weren’t true made you feel physically sick.

You stood up suddendly your chair tipping back and falling onto the floor behind you.

“Y/N whats wrong?” You could barely hear Garcia as you felt the bile rising in your throat.

You bolted, to the nearest trash can and knelt to the floor beside it as you couldn’t stop the vomit errupting from inside you.

“Morgan, Garcia. I need you to leave the room for a moment.” You could hear Hotch’s stern voice.

They exited the room, both shooting you concerned glances. Reid joined you on the floor rubbing your back in soothing circles, Aaron handing him a glass of water and some paper towels for you.

“Reid I need to know what the connection is?”

“We were at that park yesterday, sat under that tree in those exact positions. Y/N had made a daisy chain and I was wearing it.”

“You think this is Joshua Canes doing?”

You finally spoke “It has to be. He must be here.”

“Do you think these other cases are related?”

You thought about it for a moment before nodding. “The three girls, they were all 18 right and all at college. They were all stabbed. The second girl, where she was found…….Me and Spence get take out from that restaurant.”

Hotch took out his cell phone. “You’re aware the rest of the team will need to know?”

You nodded, your eyes filling with tears.

“I need to make some calls. Prentiss and Rossi should be back shortly. I’ll brief everyone together……Y/N if its him, we’ll catch him. I won’t let anymore members of my team get hurt.”

Hotch left the room leaving you and Spencer alone. You saw both Penelope and Derek look at him questioningly. Hotch just shook his head.

“Spencer………"The sobs came quick and fast.

“Shhhhh, shhhh.” He took you into his arms rocking you back and forth. “Everything will be okay.”  
……..

Prentiss and Rossi returned about 40 minutes later and by that time you’d managed to compose yourself somewhat. Hotch had gathered everyone in the meeting room asking you first whether you wanted to be there whilst he briefed them on your past.

You shook your head “Tell them and then I’ll come in when its over.” He nodded understanding. “Do you want me to stay with you?” Reid had asked. “No, I’ll be okay. Just answer any questions they have. You and Emily know the most about it.”

He left you giving you one last hug. 

You sat there staring off into space, lost in your own thoughts.

How? 

Why?

What did he want?

All three questions kept going in a loop in your mind. How was he even in the states? All the airports had his picture and he didn’t have a passport. His bank accounts had been overturned completely and Interpol hadn’t been able to locate anything suspicious.

Why was he here? To hurt you? To finish off what he’d began? When he’d wrote you from prison ten years he’d been begging for your forgiveness, telling you he’d do anything to get you back. And now, four people had turned up dead. 

You opened the first two cases files wanting to make absolutely certain they were all linked and seeing details you’d missed the first time. 

The first two girls had been cut 14 times each. Some were just small slashes, others deep stab wounds. The MEs report wasn’t in on the third girl yet but you’d bet your life that she had 14 marks too. It was the same number you had.

The first girl had been sexually assaulted but not the second. Again you wouldn’t know more about the third until later. The first had clearly been attacked in her own home, but with the second and the new victims it appeared that they’d been killed elsewhere and then moved. 

“Y/N” Agent Hotchner was standing at the door to your office. “We’re ready for you now.”

You took a deep breath and followed him, feeling the teams eyes on you as you entered. You could tell Penelope had been crying, Morgan sat with his arm around her. 

You took a seat between Spencer and Emily. Reid put his hand out reaching for his. You shook your head at him quickly. Any physical contact right now would make you break down. 

Rossi was the first to address you. “Y/N. We’ll get him. Derek echoed him.” Yeah kitten. We’ll find this bastard.“

You smiled weakly at them as Agent Hotchner began talking. 

"Thank you. Listen, please don’t treat me with kid gloves here. I wanna help catch him and I really cope with anyone tip toeing around me okay. Can we treat this as a normal case?”

You glanced around at them seeing them all nod, and Penelope pulling herself from Derek embrace wiping her eyes. 

“There’s a few questions that have arose Y/N.” You nodded knowing there would be. “The first one being that the girls physical description matches each other but not yours.”

You pulled out your phone clicking onto a photo album app and sliding it to Hotch.“It matches me then, not now.”

The photo you’d shown him had been taken when you were 18 and ready for a night out with your girlfriends. Your Y/N/C had been dyed black, you’d been rather heavily into the greb scene at that point and your appearance was noticeably different. 

You’d stripped your hair of the dye after the attack reverting back to your natural colour. 

“Of course!” Emily smacked her forehead. “I remember your Dad telling stories about you coming home with a new piercing four weeks in a row.”

“Piercings?” Spencer asked. You nodded, they’d been removed when you were in hospital recovering and by the time you’d felt yourself again, some of the holes had healed. “I’ll tell you later.”

“The second two discovery sites are both places you and Spencer have been together right?” Derek asked “That tells us he’s watching you. When was the time you were at that restaurant?" 

"Friday the 8th” Reid immediately answered. “We got take out from there three times that week.” You’d been so drained from work that week that neither one of you had wanted to cook and the restaurant was right around the corner from your apartment building. 

“That was three and a half weeks ago, before the first girl was killed.” Rossi commented. “If he’s dumping bodies in places to grab your attention then why not dump the first one there, rather than leave her in her dorm room.”

“Because the first girl was actually attacked in her room like Y/N was. It would have too risky to move the body away from a busy college campus. The other victims must have been killed elsewhere and then moved.” Emily stated. 

Reid spoke softly “The first victim mirrors the original attack, even down to the fact that the boyfriend was arrested for it although it’s obvious now he didn’t do it. The only difference is that you survived and she didn’t.”

“The second and third scenes are messages then.” Morgan said, you understanding immediately what that message was. 

“He’s telling me he’s watching me. He knows where I go and what I do and who with.” You tried to keep your voice from shaking. 

“The fact that the fourth victim was male indicates that he’s not happy about your relationship with Reid and that he views him as a threat.” Morgan continued. 

Everyone fell silent then realising that it wasn’t just one if their team that was in potential danger but two. 

Agent Hotchner broke the silence. “We need to work this like any other case. I’ve already spoken with Interpol and they are aware that we suspect him to be in the state. We will cooperate with them sharing information and they will provide back up where needed. 

Dave and Emily, I want you to go to the first scene, see if there’s anything that the PD have missed. Morgan, I want you to head to the restaurant. Ask around again. For him to use it as a dump site indicates that he knows how often Spencer and Y/N go there. Someone must have seen something suspicious.”

The team nodded as he turned to Reid. “Spencer, I know you want to stay with Y/N right now but I need you with me. We’ll go to the third scene and then to the MEs office. I want you wearing a vest under your clothes there to be on the safe side.”

“And me sir?” You looked up at him. 

He was stern when he replied, but not unkind. “You know I can’t have you out in the field on this one. I want you here with Garcia. You knew him best. We need to know everything you can remember about him, and Garcia we need everything the system has on Joshua Cane. I’ll authorise your access to the files.”

“On it sir.”

“It’s fair to say that neither you or Dr Reid will be returning home tonight Agent Y/N. I’ll make arrangements for alternative accommodation for you, and myself and Reid will stop by your building to pack some belongings.”

You nodded knowing it wasn’t safe for you to go home now.

The team stood ready to leave on their various assignments. As they filed out one by one they all stopped before you offering their own support. Morgan and Emily simply hugged you, with Rossi squeezing your shoulder. Reid pulled you into a huge hug wrapping his arms tightly around you and gently kissing the top of your head. “Be safe” you whispered into his shoulder feeling him nod in response. 

“You too. I love you.” He whispered back not caring that you were still in earshot of the others. "Love you too.“ 

You broke apart seeing Penelope dabbing at fresh tears on her cheeks. "Aww you guys.”

“Right” you breathed deeply. “Let’s do this."


	14. Chapter 14

The rest of the team left, Hotch giving you strict instructions not to leave the building under any circumstances. You stood up to move to Penelope office, or her bat cave as you referred to it grabbing your lap top bag and phones. 

“Y/N?” Penelope seemed hesitant. 

“Hmmmmm?”

“Can I hug you….. It’s more for me than you. I just really need a hug right now.”

You looked at her and she’d never looked so lost and small in all the time you’d known her. 

You pulled her into a quick hug feeling her grasp you tightly, hearing her sniffling.“I’m so sorry” she whispered quietly pulling back after a moment or two. When she did you smiled at her and she gave you a watery grin back.

“To the bat cave Pen?“ 

She nodded. “To the bat cave.”  
……. 

By the time the team regrouped again at 10pm that evening, the bat cave and meeting room had been transformed. 

The boards were covered in photos of the four crime scenes, yours included. You were working hard to emotionally detach yourself as much as you could but seeing the photos of your old room, blood and glass splattered everywhere on the floor had caused you to vomit again. That was earlier though, and you were holding it together now. 

Joshua Canes photo had been circulated amongst the team, as well as photos that Garcia had put together of him with different hair colors and various facial accessories as you all had to assume that he would have tried to alter his appearance. It had shocked you seeing the picture of him taken on his release day from prison, nine years had barely aged him at all. 

The boards contained any new information that the team had managed to garner, calling in to you and Garcia every so often. 

Victim number three Kelly Casey had been stabbed 14 times as you’d thought, but she hadn’t been sexually assaulted. Her boyfriend Paul Matthews also hadn’t been stabbed at all, but had been shot point blank in the head execution style, meaning Cane had a firearm. 

The ME hadn’t been able to tell who had been killed first but given that Pauls clothing was covered in cast off that matched Kellys blood type, the assumption was that he’d been made to watch and then killed after. 

Both Rossi and Hotch had commented that Cane seemed to be making a point that if he couldn’t have you, then no one else could, and that thought chilled you to your bones. 

The couple had last been seen around 11pm leaving a party with their friends and had chosen to walk home, not living far. None of the routes that they would logically have taken home would have taken them via Catton Park, so it was thought that they’d been abducted along the way, which meant Cane had to have some form of transportation. 

The second victim Kennedy Marshall had been last seen at 10pm leaving her local gym, which also turned out to be the same gym that you and Spencer had been using. Her car had been located in a side street not far away, as she’d been using a day pass rather than a members pass so didn’t have on site parking privileges. 

Her body had been discovered the following morning at 5am by a garbage disposal truck that was collecting from the restaurant. The garbage men had both had alibis that checked out so hadn’t been considered suspects originally. 

Derek had spoken to the owners of the restaurant and had shown them yours and Reids pictures along with the various pictures of Cane that Penelope had provided. He recognised you and Reid but hadn’t recognised Cane. He did recall another English guy coming in around the last time you and Reid had visited but he didn’t stay, only asking for a menu and then leaving. The owner couldn’t provide a description though, only remembering the accent. 

Charlotte Days the first victim had been discovered by her roommate who’d gone out drinking at a local bar. Although they did live in campus housing, it was actually off site dorms so wasn’t part of the main college complex. The dorms were more like small apartments shared between two or three people. Her boyfriend had been suspected as he’d been the last person to be seen with her, studying at a local library together earlier that evening, again one which you and Spencer had visited previously. Windows had been smashed in the room and some non expensive jewelry had been taken to indicate a robbery. 

Her scene mirrored yours exactly, she was the only one to be sexually assaulted although a condom had been used. She’d also suffered a massive headwound like you had which the ME had said would have rendered her unconscious and unable to fight back. This matched up with the fact that there were no defensive wounds on her. Due to the amount of people in and out of her room, the was a mass of fingerprints and DNA evidence for the CSIs to be searching through. 

So far the team had no leads, no idea how Cane had got into the country or where he was.

The only thing that everyone agreed on was that it was him. It was too much of a coincidence for it not to be. 

Agents in the UK were going back out to reinterview Canes family and old associates to see if anything new had turned up. They weren’t hopeful though. His parents had disowned him when he’d been sent down, and they’d refused to make contact with him when he’d been released. You’d remembered how his mum had asked for a visit with you, sobbing her apologies when you’d agreed to see her. 

You also remembered hearing how Canes half brother Dean who had been a few years older, had been killed 18 months ago in a car wreck and that you’d actually felt sorry for his mum, essentially having lost both of her children. 

“Let’s call it a day for now guys. We’re not going to get anywhere at this time of night. Everyone rest and be back here at 9am tomorrow.“ 

Hotch turned to you and Spencer. “I’ve made arrangements for you to stay at alternative accommodation. Derek has demanded that he be given a room on the same floor and given the circumstances I think that would be a good idea. There will also be a patrol unit outside the entrances. Try and get some rest and I’ll see you both in the morning.”

……. 

Derek drove you all to the hotel Hotch had checked you into, stopping by a drive thru on the way so you could all grab something to eat. You ate in the car in silence just wanting to get to your destination and check in. 

You arrived and checked in, Hotch had used fake names for the three of you which was standard practice. 

Derek had raised his eyebrows when he’d seen there were only two room keys. “I guess I’ll room with Y/N then Spencer. Give you chance to rest that pretty little brain of yours.” he teased.

“Not a chance Derek.” he replied grabbing one of the keys and opening the door taking your bags inside. 

Morgan placed a hand on your arm before you followed. “Hey, I know you guys haven’t actually said anything official to the rest of the team yet, but I’m pleased for you both.” You smiled at him as continued “Reids a great guy and you two suit each other. I’m just……Sorry for everything else that’s happening.”

“Thanks Derek.” You gave him a quick peck on the cheek before closing the door and locking it behind you. 

Spencer walked over to you pulling you into his warm embrace. “How you doing?" 

"I’m……I’m okay” you said into his shoulder. “I just wanna solve this case like any other so we can get on with our lives.”

“Me too.” he kissed your forehead sweetly, his lips warm and gentle before releasing you. 

You both showered and changed for bed, climbing under the covers and settling down, turning off the lights. You rolled on to your side feeling Spencer curve himself around you. 

You weren’t sure how long you’d been lying there for or if you’d actually drifted off, when you’d felt him pull away from you and climb out of bed. He padded across the floor to the bathroom and a few moments later you heard the shower switch on again. 

Strange you thought to yourself, he’d already showered before bed.. 

He emerged about twenty minutes later, hair damp again and climbed back into bed lying on his back. You rolled over, resting your head on his chest. “Everything okay?” You whispered. 

“Sorry I didn’t mean to wake you up. I couldn’t sleep. ”

“It’s okay. I’m not sure I was asleep anyway. What were you doing?”

He tensed slightly, not answering you.

“Spencer”. You prompted. 

“I’m not sure it’s appropriate to tell you, given our current predicament.”

Huh? 

Oh…..OH. 

You caught on. You laughed softly. “I do that sometimes to help me sleep as well. You could have done it here.” You stated tracing shapes with your hand over his tee shirt. 

“Could I have? Don’t girls find that weird?" 

"Did you find it weird last night when I did it?" 

"Well no, that was like the sexiest thing I’ve seen ever.”

You blushed at his words wondering if he could feel how warm you cheeks had gone. You tilted your head up to look at him. “Exactly Spence.”

He raised his eyebrows at you his mouth opening with a quiet “Oh”. 

“What were you thinking about?” You asked him, feeling his tummy tense at the shapes you were drawing. To be honest you’d expected him to have moved your hand by now. 

He coughed before answering “You, last night. The look on your your face when you were touching yourself…..Oh and you today, trying to tease me with that god damn banana you were eating.”

Fuuuck. 

“You’re so beautiful and sexy Y/N. I don’t think you realise what you do to me.”

Just his words then we’re enough to make you groan. “Spencer?" 

"Mmmmm?”

“Can you go again?” You searched his face hoping he’d get what you were implying. 

Something flashed in his eyes “Now? You want me to…..Um……" 

"Yeah. I wanna watch.”

He thought about it for a second before responding. “One condition.”

You nodded, you’d literally have done anything. 

“Strip. I need a visual and why close my eyes and imagine when I could have the most beautiful girl in the world next to me naked.”

You hesitated for a movement. Although he’d seen your breasts last night, you hadn’t actually taken your underwear off. Still, you’d thought, he was gonna have to take his off. 

You nodded, lifting your hips and shimmying out of your pajama shorts and underwear. You changed position, kneeling next to him on the bed watching as he pushed his bottoms and boxers down as well. 

Your eyes went straight to his groin, you couldn’t help it. He was already hard again the conversation you’d been having obviously sparking the same feelings it had in you. He wasn’t huge, but he definitely wasn’t small either. It was….for want of a better word, perfect. 

You bit your lips, licking them hearing his breath hitch it his throat. “Please don’t sit there licking your lips at me like that.” he whispered “It gives me such ideas." 

"I could….?” You offered. 

“Oh you will, but not tonight.” Your eyebrows shot up. He was smirking again. 

He lifted his palm to your mouth “Spit please….Oh and take your shirt off.”

You obeyed spitting into his palm, you knew what he wanted it for but it still didn’t stop the small moan escaping your lips when he moved his hand down, coating himself in your saliva. 

Your eyes widened watching as his hand slowly worked itself up and down his length, his other hand reaching out and trailing up from your knee to the bottom of your shirt. He pushed it up. “Off, now please.”

You grabbed the bottom of your shirt, slowly lifting it and pulling it over your head, tossing it to one side. Kneeling there naked at the side of him you felt exposed but seeing the look in his eyes and hearing the low groan from his throat as he took you in, you realised you’d never felt more desired. 

His hand pumped faster, his thumb swiping over his glistening tip every so often. His other hand remained on you trailing up and down over your body, his feather like touch sending shivers through you. 

The noises he was eliciting were delicious and you loved the look on his face, his eyes roaming from you face all over your body and then back up to you eyes. His hand paused over your breasts and your moaned as his finger swiped over your nipple. 

“Fuck” he groaned seeing your head tilt back in pleasure. You were starting to feel warm and wet between your legs. He started to move his hand over but you grabbed it, holding it to you chest. His fingers started pulling and teasing at you just the way you wanted. You shifted, parting your legs slightly. 

“One sec.” he said stopping his exploration of your chest and slowing his strokes on himself. He took your hand dragging it down to between your legs. “Do you like watching this? Is it making you wet Y/N?” his voice was low. 

You nodded as he pushed your hand so that your fingers were just below your opening, not actually touching you himself. You locked eyes with him seeing him smirk as he pushed you inside yourself, you gasping as he did, feeling how moist and slick you actually were. 

He pulled your hand away tugging it to his mouth and flicking his tongue out tasting you. You both groaned at the same time and you reached down with your other hand starting to rub yourself. 

He spied your hand and his own strokes quickened again, his grip tightening and his moans coming faster now. He released your hand from his mouth and you moved it to your breast, stroking and tugging one nipple. He moved his free hand to you other breast , copying you. 

You pace quickened and your eyes widened as your saw him lift his hips of the bed slightly his legs tensing up. He must be close you thought, just as he voiced your thoughts. 

“I’m nearly there Y/N. Can you cum with me?”

You nodded feeling him pinch your nipple harder and your pushed harder with your fingers, rubbing your throbbing bundle of nerves faster. You started to shake seeing him do the same as you let out a loud moan, you head tilting back and your eyes closing as you came. You opened them just in time to see Spencer releasing himself, hot sticky fluid pooling on his stomach.

You shifted positions, lying down next to him, the room filled with the sounds of your breathing, both of you still panting softly. 

A few moments later Spencer spoke quietly. “I’ve never actually done that in front of anyone before.”

“Up until yesterday, I hadn’t either.” you responded smiling. 

“You’re amazing Y/N.”

“You’re not so bad yourself Dr Reid.” you giggled. 

You climbed of the bed, grabbing your pajamas and chucking a packet of baby wipes on the bed whilst you headed into the bathroom to clean up. 

When you emerged five minutes later, Spencer was back in his bottoms lying on his side. 

You climbed back into bed with him, feeling him wrap himself around you. “Spence.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m so glad we met. I know it’s a bit of a cliché to say this, but I’ve never felt this way about anyone.”

His embrace on you tightened.“Neither have I Y/N. When I’m with you I feel like I could do anything. Like anything is possible. I love you.”

“Love you too. Night Spencer. Sweet dreams.”

“Night Y/N. You are my sweet dream.


	15. Chapter 15

"Sleep well last night guys?" you were in the car back on the way toheadquarters the next day.

"Yes thank Derek, did you?" Suprisingly you had slept quite well onceyou'd actually fallen asleep.

"Sure did Kitten once I actually got sleep. I was sure one of our neighbours was having a good time though," his eyes shifted to therear view mirror and you saw Spencer's shoulders stiffen in thepassenger seat.

"Really?"you coughed trying to keep you voice neutral. 

"Yep, must have been an hour or so after we'd got in. I could only hear the girl though, but man oh man, it was a sweet sound."

You felt you cheeks burn and hoped Morgan couldn't see. From your seat you could see Spencer's hands resting on his knees. They were clenching and digging into his thighs.

"Did you guys not hear it then?"

"Nope.....We must have fallen asleep," Reid was audibly gritting his teeth as he spoke. Morgan must have picked up on it as you saw him glance at Spencer, clocking his clenched hands. He looked back into the rearview mirror seeing your red cheeks.

He burst out laughing, "Awww shit guys. That was you two. Nicely done Pretty Boy."

"Shut up Morgan," you both said in unison. 

He carried on laughing to himself.

...

You'd been relegated to the bat cave with Garcia again, going over various pieces of security footage whilst the others were sent out into the field.

"So,um.... sleep well last night Y/N?" you could hear the smile in her voice.

"Oh for fucks sake!"

"Oh don't be like that, you know that gorgeous man can't keep anything from me. Was it good?"

"It wasn't what you think, but yes it was good, thank you very much."

"So you didn't bump uglies?" you cringed at her choice of words.

"Nope. Other stuff."

"You gonna tell Aunty Penelope?"

You raised your eyebrows at her, "Nope."

"Give me something!!!!"

"Letsjust say we had a mutual.......bonding session."

She giggled, "I get ya sweetness, I get ya."

Hotch and Spencer had remained behind at headquarters with you. Access to Cane's electronic tag movements from the time he was released to the time he went missing had been requested. Hotch had wanted to see if there was any patterns, any places he'd visited frequently that might give an indication of where he'd gotten travel papers from and how he was funding himself. The team were convinced that if they could find the name or names he was using then they would be able to find him. Spencer was going through these now, him being the fastest at analysing data and patterns.

Hotch was under pressure to release a statement, the issue was; although the team knew who the unsub was, you couldn't name him until you found something concrete tying him to it. 

You and Penelope had been trawling over security footage all morning. You were currently going through the footage from the camera between the gym and the side street where victim number two, Kennedy Marshall'scar had been parked. Her car had been parked at such an angle that you couldn't get a direct look at it.

Kennedy was visible walking down the street, gym bag on one shoulder andvheadphones on. She appeared to be singing along to whatever she was listening to. Then she disappeared out of view of the camera and that was last that could be seen of her.

Based on where her car was parked and the camera angle's, Spencer had worked out that she'd been less than ten feet away from her car when she'd been taken.

Derek had gone to the area around where her car was parked and had remarked that there were no signs of a struggle.

"Guys, I think I've got something," Garcia called. You hurried to her desk looking over shoulder.

"So Kennedy left the gym at 10pm right and we last see her 10:07pm walking to her car. We know she's only feet away."

She clicked through her screens pulling up a video.

"This footage is from the security camera at the grocery store which is onthe street adjacent to where she was parked. At 1:13am you can see her car drive past the store."

"Can you get a look at the driver?"

She shook her head, "I can zoom in but the picture's not clear at all, even when I try to clean it up. But what you can tell is....." she pressed a few buttons.

"That's not Kennedy Marshall," Hotch spoke. 

"Nope."

"Garcia track the car as well as you can through the rest of the cameras. Why wasn't this footage checked before?"

"Sir the local PD checked with the gym. Although she was a day pass user and couldn't park on site, the local authority have an agreement with the gym that allows the user to claim back the cost of their parking charges. All she had to do was present her parking ticket at the gym," you explained. "The gym have her down as parked in that exact space, so as the car was still there...."

"Everyone assumes she's never made it to the car." 

You nodded.

"Sir you can track the car through until 7th avenue and then we lose it again until it returns at 3:07am," Penelope showed you all the various images she'd managed to locate. None of them provided a good enough shot of the face. All you could tell was that it wasn't female.

"Can you pull up footage from the cameras around the restaurant?" you asked her.

She nodded, "Already on it, there's only one that was actually in operation and can see the car drive past it at 2:56am."

"What about before and after the car left and returned. He must have been waiting for her somewhere close by. If he was in another vehicle then he would have had to drive past those cameras at some point."

"That's what I'm looking for now. It may take me a while though."

"Derek, he was in Kennedy Marshall's car. That's how he moved her body. Get it dusted for prints asap," you could hear Agent Hotchner on the phone to Morgan.

...

Afew hours had passed and you had new information. The tox screens had come back on Kelly Casey and Paul Matthews, and both were well over the legal limit. Rossi and Emily had been speaking to the victims friends who'd been at the party with them and had reported that when they'd left, they'd both been a little worse for wear, but neither had had the money for a cab.

"So if they'd been stumbling home drunk late at night and someone had pulled up offering them a ride, they might have been foolish enough to accept?" Garcia had questioned.

"Perhaps not if Kelly had been alone, but given the fact that her boyfriend was with her they probably thought they were safe," you'd been trying to track them walking home from the party using the various routes they could have taken.

Unfortunatelywith them being in residential areas, there wasn't much footage available and you'd only been able to spot them once, crossing a main road and heading east.

Reid had walked in with a sheet of paper, he'd been going over the mountain of co-ordinates which had come through showing Cane's tag movements .

"So I've been studying Cane's movements in the months running up to when he vanished and aside from his residence, there's only a few other locations that he'd visted regularly."

"Hit me with the co-ordinates sugar, I'll let you what they are," Penelope was poised and ready to go.

He reeled off the first set and her fingers flew over the keyboard, "So this is an internet cafe."

"When was he last there?" Hotch had come back into the office. 

"Two days before he was last seen. He'd been there on 17 other occasions in the last 3 months."

"Pen,are you able to see what he was looking at?" you knew it was a long shot, seeing her shake her head. 

"Only if we know what machine he was using."

The police had located a laptop in Cane's room but it hadn't returned any useful information.

"Could we get an officer sent over to see if anyone there remembers him and if he did use a particular machine? We've got the dates and times he was there so if we can find out what machines he was using, maybe we can see what he was searching for."

"I'll make some calls," Hotch replied. "Reid what are the other locations?"

He reeled off the next set of co-ordinates.

"This is a pawn shop, a speciality pawn shop by the looks of their website," Penelope clicked onto it.

Pawnshop. Something was niggling in the back of your brain.

"How often did he visit there?" you heard Hotch ask. 

"Seven times."

Something clicked. "Hotch, what happned to Cane's belongings when he was locked up. Did his parents take them?"

"Let me check. Why?"

"He used to collect first editions. He'd been left quite a few by his grandfather when he'd passed away. If he's visiting pawn shops maybe he's been selling them and that's how he's funding himself . I can't believe I only just remembered." you'd remembered him showing you them the first time you'd been back to his apartment.

Hotch checked through the file, "His parents hired a removal company to clear out his apartment. Everything in there was put in a lock up and he was given the key to the lock up upon release. There's an inventory," He passed it to Spencer as it was good few pages long.

Spencer scanned it quickly, "There's 9 first editions on here, some of which would sell for a fair amount to the right buyers."

"We need to contact that shop and find out how many of those books he's sold ."

Garcia's phone sounded. She hit the speaker, "P.G and Co, how may I direct your call?"

Derek laughed down the phone, "Baby Girl am I on speaker?"

"Yes you are my sweet chocolate cake, do you want me to take you off so we can talk dirty?"

"No baby, we'll save that for later. I have intell."

"What have got Morgan?" you spoke, pen ready to add the details to one of the boards.

"CSI swept Kennedy Marshall's car and ran all of the prints they found. One of the partials came back as a match to Joshua Cane. It is 100% him Kitten."


	16. Chapter 16

You genuinely weren't sure how you felt, hearing Morgan say those words.

On one hand, you knew now that it was definitely him. On the other hand, you knew that it was definitely him.

You could hear Hotch speaking in the back ground but his words weren't making any sense to you, it was like he was speaking another language right now.

"Guys, I'm sorry. I need a minute," you pushed open the office door, heading out into the corridor and into the ladies bathroom. Locking the cubicle door, you pushed the toilet lid down and sank onto the seat.

'You're okay. You got this, you're okay,' you murmured to yourself over and over.

"Y/N, open the door please," Spencer must have followed you in.

You unlocked the door and he slipped into the cubicle with you, shutting it again behind him.

"I'm sorry. I just needed to get out of that room."

"I know. I get it. Hotch gets it, Penelope gets it, they all get it. We're all in this together. Nothings going to happen to you though. We'll find him and we'll protect you."

You looked at him a realisation hitting you.

"What about you though? Spencer, he killed that girl's boyfriend and posed him how you'd been sat. You heard Rossi yesterday, it's not just me that's the target. He knows about you. Being with me has put you on danger."

"When I joined the BAU I accepted that danger was part of the job just like you did. It comes with the territory," he shrugged taking your hands into his trying to calm you down.

"Yeah but it's not just because of the job this time. It's because of me. If you hadn't met me, you wouldn't be in danger!"

He lowered his head, resting his forehead against yours, "Y/N I wouldn't change this, if I could back and not have met you, I wouldn't. Alright so at the minute we might be in danger but two months from now it could be a different type of danger."

"I guess.... I'm just sorry. I feel like this is my fault. If I'd have died back then those four people wouldn't......."

"Do not even think that. Say you hadn't have survived the first time, he could have still ended up going on a spree. You don't know these things. No one does. That fact is, you are here. And I'm so happy you are."

He kissed your forehead gently, "Are you ready to go back?"

"Yeah, I am."  
...

An hour or so later there was another breakthrough.

"I think I've found his car," Penelope called out.

You gathered round her desk again and she clicked through the screens.

"So we know Kennedy Marshall signed into the gym at 7:45pm. At 6:58pm you can see a grey ford transit van turn into the same street where she's parked. I've searched the cameras at the other end of the street and although they don't cover all angles, I can't see the car emerging again."

She hit a few more buttons, "You can see the same van though pulling out of the street at 5:35am the next morning. I mean, they could have legitimate business to be there or......"

"Cane's intelligent enough to know that we'd be looking for a car approaching and leaving the area around the time Marshall left gym so he purposely waited a while, in the hope that we wouldn't check that far before or after," you continued for her.

"Exactly. The only issue is, I can't get a good enough picture to get the plate number."

"So run a search for all grey ford transit registered in the area." Hotch began.

"Wait one second," you remembered something from the footage of Kelly Casey and Paul Matthews. You pulled it up on your screen, fast forwarding through the frames until you saw what you wanted. About 17 seconds after Casey and Matthews crossed in front of the only security camera you'd managed to catch them on, you could see the same grey transit van. And the picture was much clearer.

"I can make out most of the plate number," you read it out to her, only missing the last two digits.

Garcia's fingers flew across the keyboard accessing the programmes she needed.

"And boom! We've got it. We have a 2004 grey ford transit reported stolen six weeks ago in Charles County, Maryland. Report was filed by a Robert Nash, says the vehicle was stolen overnight from outside his property. Residential area though, so no cameras."

"He's been the country for six whole weeks then?" you couldn't quite believe it. That meant he'd left the UK pretty much straight away.

"If that's the car he's using and I'm betting my sweet sweet ass that it is then yep!"

"I'll get an APB out on the vehicle. Great work ladies."

Penelope raised her palm in the air and you high fived her. It was something small but at least you had something to go on.

"Reid," Hotch turned to address Spencer. "Has the owner of the pawn shop got back in touch yet."

"He asked me to give him an hour whilst he checked his records. He'd only just opened when I'd called. I'll try again."

Spencer left the room heading to your office to make the call in private.

You started searching for the videos taken from the security cameras close to the library where Charlotte Days had been last seen. Finding the ones you wanted you settled down, clicking through the images.

Now you knew what vehicle you were looking for, it was easy to spot it there again. You saw it pass down the road in front of the library minutes after Charlotte had exited. You clicked on to the next street camera hoping to track the car and saw something you didn't expect to see. The car pulled up next to her and a few seconds later she got in.

"What the fuck?" you muttered.

"HOTCH!" you yelled now, realising what this meant. You replayed the images when he stood looking over your shoulder.

"She knew him."

You nodded, that had been your thoughts too. But how?

"Guys," Spencer had re-entered the room. "Cane sold five out of nine of those first additions to that store."

"For how much?" you asked and he told you the total figure.

"But that's nowhere near the amount he should have got for them?"

"Yes but he obviously wanted a quick sale. And cash. The owner offered him more when he bought the first one in but Cane told him he wanted cash. The owner told him if he wanted cash he'd have to wait whilst he contacted buyers he knew would be interested and pay upfront. That's why he went back to the store so many times. They were sold to individual buyers. He could have got more if he'd agreed to a bank transfer or cheque payment but he obviously wanted to avoid a trail."

"And the owner's sure it's Cane?" Hotch asked

"Yes, one hundred percent," Spencer nodded. "He recognised him from the photo I faxed over. He obviously hadn't changed his appearance at that point."

So now you knew what he was driving and how he had funded himself.

"There's a chance he's bought the remaining books over him to sell," you spoke.

"I've already thought of that. I've sent the list of the remaining books and a photo out to various rare book collectors and pawn shops in and around Virginia. If he tries to sell them if he hasn't already, then we should be notified."

You were actually getting somewhere it felt like. These were only small advances but at least you now had something.

...

Hotch had sent Rossi and Prentiss back out to interview Charlotte Days friends and family again. You'd all agreed that the only way she would have got in that van if she'd known Cane, so you just had to now figure out how she did know him.

Derek had joined you back at the BAU, the crime lab not being able to pull anymore prints from Kennedy Marshall's car.

You overheard him and Hotch talking about the statement Hotch was planning to release the following day.

"Are you sure it's a good idea, Reid won't like it one bit," your ears perked up at the mention of Spencer.

"Won't like what?" you walked over to the men.

You saw them exchange looks before Hotch spoke, "We were debating whether to have read the statement."

"Me?" Normally this something you would automatically do, it being part of your role as media liaison. Given the circumstances though, you'd assumed that Hotch would be the one in front of the camera.

Derek looked at you, "Cane is obviously doing this to get your attention. If you deliver the statement to the press and he's sees it..."

"Which he will" you butted in, knowing that he'd be following any media attention given to the case.

Hotch continued where Derek had left off, "If he sees you delivering the statement he'll know that he has your attention and may try to make direct contact with you."

"No," you hadn't heard Spencer entering the room.

"Reid, you know we've got a point," Derek tried to appeal to him.

"No. She's not doing it."

"Spence...... They're right," you said softly.

"You're not doing it. It's a stupid idea."

"Spencer she wouldn't be in any danger. She'd be surrounded by agents, and it would be in a controlled location with press only."

"You essentially want her to communicate with the man who raped and tried to kill her!" He was beginning to raise his voice and you winced at his words.

"We think if she does, he'll attempt to make contact with us and then we can track him," Hotch stated calmly.

"We're tracking him anyway. We've got leads, we'll keep following them," you could see how agitated and desperate he was becoming.

"If he makes contact with us directly, which we think he will then we'll be able to track him quicker though."

"Or you could get her killed. She's not doing it."

"REID" Hotch was sharp now, the tone of authority that he rarely had to use with his team coming through.

"Spence.... " you put your hand onto his arm. "You don't have a say in this. It's my choice. I'm doing it."

He stared at you and you felt him yank his arm away, turn on his heel and walk straight out the room slamming the door closed behind him.


	17. Chapter 17

You stared after Spencer and made a move to follow but Derek put his hand out stopping you.

"Leave him Kitten, he knows we're right. He's just blind to it because he's concerned about you."

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Agent Hotchner looked directly at you, his eyes searching your face for any sign of hesitation. You nodded, knowing that it wasn't so much as that you wanted to do this, more that you needed to.

"Then let's get to work."

...

You spent the few hours planning the statement and what information you were going to release. In the end, you'd decided that Aaron would do the talking, you'd simply be stood with him. You weren't quite sure you could trust yourself to speak about the horrific monster who'd attacked you, in front of a room full of journalists and police without breaking down.

Hotch dismissed you all for the day telling you to go home and get some rest, and you went to find Spencer who had been sulking in Penelope's office.

"Ready to go?" you asked him. He followed you without a word, not speaking to you or Morgan the whole ride back to the hotel.

"Guess I won't be needing the ear plugs I picked up," Derek joked to you as you parted in the corridor.

You scowled at him, "Not appropriate Morgan."

Once you entered the room Spencer flung his messenger bag onto the bed, grabbing his pajamas and a towel and going straight into the bathroom.

"Spencer, we need to talk about this," you started to follow him but he shut the door in your face.

Ouch. You'd never seen him like this.

You sat on the bed eating the sub you'd picked up on the way home and waiting for him to finish. He eventually came out of the bathroom a good 40 minutes later, getting straight into bed and avoiding all eye contact with you. He immediately shut off the light on his side.

Fine.....

You headed off to the bathroom and cleaned up, having a quick shower and changing into your pajamas, before climbing into bed yourself.

"Spencer," you tried one more time, reaching your hand out and resting it on his shoulder. "I'm not even gonna speak. Hotch and Morgan are gonna do all the talking." He shook your hand off.

You could feel yourself starting to well up again so you flicked your light off too, rolling over and closing your eyes.

You're not sure how but you drifted off, waking up a few hours later feeling the bed empty next to you.

Rolling over, you searched the darkened room. He was sitting on the window seat, his long legs drawn up against his body.

"I'm sorry," he whispered quietly, seeing you awake. "I know they're right..and I know why you have to do it." His voice was choked and small, like he'd been crying. You climbed out of bed and padded across the room to him.

"You don't have to be sorry. I get it," you whispered back. "I love you."

"I love you too," he lowered his legs and you took that opportunity to clamber onto his lap, knees either side of him.

You held each other tightly for a moment just breathing in the scent of each other.

"I just don't wanna lose you," he pulled back from your embrace looking at you, his deep brown eyes filled with love and concern.

"You won't."

"I just keep thinking what if something happens..... What if I don't ever get the chance to do this again."

He leant forward pressing his lips to yours gently at first, then with more pressure.

You moved your lips against his, surprised that he had relented on his no more kissing rule. His kiss was sweet and you could taste salt on his lips from his tears. His mouth slowly became more urgent as he tilted his head to get better access, his tongue sweeping across your lower lip.

Your lips parted and your tongue met his, caressing it gently as his hands skimmed over your thighs and up to your back.

He pulled away kissing down your chin, across your neck, his hands slipping up inside your pajama top.

"What if I never get the chance to kiss here again," He whispered into your neck, his tongue flicking out and making you shiver at the contact.

Reid's hands roamed across your torso, dancing across your tummy and up to your breasts. You shifted against him as his fingers grazed your nipples, you could feel him growing beneath you. He tugged your arms up above your head, slowly pushing your top up and off.

"I don't think I could live without seeing this sight again...." he gazed at you, sitting topless astride him.

"Or doing this again," he bent his mouth again and continued flicking his tongue out across your neck, kissing and sucking a trail down your chest.

Your hands moved from his hair, raking down his back as he took your nipple into his mouth, moving slowly from one to the other. One of his hands starting inching up your thigh slipping up the side of your shorts, grazing across the fabric of your panties.

You gasped, you head falling back as he sucked and nibbled at your breasts. Softly sometimes, then harder, almost painful.

"Spencer......" you bucked yourself against him, desperate to feel some friction between your legs.

His hand moved further into your pajama shorts, his fingers grazing at the edge of your underwear.

"I can't stop thinking... What if I never get to do this?" he whispered against your chest as he pushed his hand inside your panties, feeling your warm centre. "Or this."

His thumb grazed your clit, making you shudder with pleasure and surprise. He kept his thumb there, massaging gently as soft groans caught in your throat.

"And what if I didn't get the chance to make you come, moaning my name as you did?"

Fuuuck.

You began rocking back and forth in his lap gently, hearing him groan as you ground against him. You bit your lip as you felt him adjust his hand slightly so his fingers could gain access, pushing inside you.

"Fuck" he groaned feeling you clench around him. "I definitely couldn't go on without knowing what this felt like."

He started to move his hand, pushing his fingers in and out, slowly at first but then faster, his fingers curling slightly inside you.

Your breathing was coming quick and heavy now, your eyes closing.

"Don't close your eyes Y/N. Look at me."

You opened your eyes again struggling to focus on him, seeing his eyes burning with desire for you.

"Spence....." you moaned, grinding against him.

"Mmmmm."

"I really, really need you right now."

He paused his movements and then made his decision, pulling his hand away from you and grabbing you under your ass, lifting you as he stood. You wrapped your legs round his waist as he moved you to the bed, laying you down gently.

You tugged at his tee shirt pulling it up over his head, revealing a toned stomach and chest. He discarded it, throwing it into the corner of the room.

He moved back to your mouth kissing you hard this time and with such fire that you thought you might melt. Trailing down your body again, peppering your scarred stomach with kisses, he moved to your legs tugging your shorts and panties off.

Lowering his head to your legs he began kissing the silver scars that were there, moving closer and closer to the tops of your thighs.

You looked down at him watching him move his head between your legs, he glanced up at you and you saw that tell tale smirk as he dragged his tongue over his lips.

"Part of me wonders..." his voice was throaty now. "What if I never got to do this?"

He blew softly, the cold air making you squirm.

"Or this?" he lowered his mouth to you, flicking his tongue out over your now throbbing clit, your hips lifting off the bed as you gasped suddenly.

You squirmed as he gripped your hips, his mouth flush against you as he sucked your nub in between his lips, rolling and flicking at it. He continued for a few minutes, your pants becoming louder, moans catching in your throat as you bit your lips trying to keep quiet.

"I love hearing you make those sounds Y/N. Knowing that I'm the one doing that to you. So sexy."

"Fuck Spencer......" your groan was loud this time.

"Shhhhhh Y/N. Morgan will hear," he chuckled, his laugh vibrating through you, an amazing sensation.

You reached down tugging on his hair pulling him up to you.

"I was enjoying that," he smiled at you licking his damp lips.

You pulled him in, tasting yourself on his lips as you wrapped your legs around his waist using your feet to push his bottoms down. He kicked them off, and settled above you on the bed.

"I was enjoying it too, but right now I'll enjoy you even more inside me," you reached down encircling him with your hand, positioning him at your entrance. His lips parted and a soft moan left him.

"Wait.... Do we need to worry about protection?"

You shook your head at him, you were on the contraceptive pill. You tightened your legs around his waist, rocking slowly against him.

"Now Spencer."

He pushed inside of you slowly, your eyes widening as he filled you. He stopped for a moment letting you both adjust to the sensation, him resting his forehead against yours.

"I love you Y/N."

Lowering his mouth to yours for another kiss, he begin to move inside of you thrusting slowly at first and then gaining pace as you pushed back against him, squeezing every so often.

You could feel your sweat mingling with his and his hair falling over his face, tickling your cheeks. You reached up with your hand, pushing his hair back so you could look into his eyes.

"I love you too."

Another soft sweet kiss followed as his movement slowed again.

You lifted your hips of the bed, arching your back and willing him to go faster. Your hands began trailing up and down his back, nails digging in slightly as you raked his skin.

You moved your lips close to his ear, "Harder Spence."

He obeyed a smile crossing his lips as he gripped your legs, pulling them up over his shoulders so he could get a better angle.

"Oh my.... Fuck."

The new position had allowed him deeper inside you and his thrusts were hitting your sweet spot just right. He reached his hand between you to rub you again and feeling him touch you there as well as filling you inside was almost too much.

"Spence I'm not gonna last much longer."

You leant forward, kissing his neck and shoulder, feeling the pressure building between your legs. You were starting to get that light headed feeling, signalling you were close to losing yourself.

"Good, cos I'm not sure I can either."

A few moments later, you were there and you could feel your walls tightening around him as you bit into his shoulder, stifling your moans as you started to tremble against him. He pumped a few more times, harder than before and seconds later, a warm feeling filled you as he released himself into you, shuddering gently.

"Fuuuck." He groaned softly, coming to a halt and collapsing on to you, a hot sweaty mess. You wrapped your arms around his back, lowering your legs back down as you lay there just holding him waiting for the comedown from your orgasms to pass.

You lay there for so long you'd started to drift off to sleep and then felt him peel himself away from you. The sudden loss of heat made you jolt back awake, pulling yourself up as you both moved to clean up.

You settled back down together not bothering to get dressed again, just enjoying the feel of each others bodies.

"Do you think Derek heard?" you giggled suddenly remembering.

"I guess we'll find out tomorrow."


	18. Chapter 18

You walked into the hotel lobby the next morning holding hands.

"Well I see you two have made up," Derek commented. "Not that I need to see it, I'm very certain I might have heard some of it."

For once neither you or Spencer blushed.

Derek peered at your faces closely, surprised by the lack of reaction. "What no red cheeks, no stuttering? Maybe it wasn't you two then?"

"Oh no it was," Spencer replied.

"Yeah it definitely was," you agreed, remembering how loud you'd got at one stage.

Morgan eyebrows shot up, "I need to change rooms."  
"Might be an idea...."

You grinned at Spencer's reply, hoping that meant there'd be a repeat performance later.

"Nice," Morgan punched his arm lightly before grabbing his bag and leading the way out to the parking lot.

...

Hotch had delivered the statement and press conference this morning, you stood by his side sandwiched between him and Morgan. Spencer had wanted to come with you but both Agents had shut his request down, flatly refusing to allow him into the room after his outburst yesterday.

The conference had gone well as far as you could tell. You'd kinda blanked most of it out. Hotch had released Cane's name and photo, not directly naming him as a suspect but as a witness that the BAU were looking for to question.  
The public had been made aware that there was a serial killer on the loose and that he was targeting college aged girls. They were warned against walking alone in the area or getting into unknown cars.

A hotline had been set up, and now you just had to wait for the slew of crazies calling in, hoping to fish out the few genuine clues you might gain.

As you headed back to the BAU's floor Hotch had turned to you, "You did well Agent Y/N."

"I didn't do anything?"

"Yes you did. You remained calm and composed throughout, not flinching when that journalist had bought up Cane's previous crime."

That had thrown you slightly. A journalist, obviously familiar with Cane's name and that he was a missing parolee had questioned whether the team had thought there was a connection to his previous crime.

Hotch had replied that no you didn't, and he was simply wanted for questioning. The journalist had probed further asking if you had intelligence leading you to believe that he was definitely in the states.

Hotch had stated that yes you did, but you couldn't release anymore information and had reiterated that Cane was wanted for questioning only.

You all regrouped in Hotch's office, Spencer going immediately to your side when he saw that you'd returned.

Rossi and Emily had updated the boards with the information they'd gained from interviewing Charlotte Days friends again.

It turned out the girl was working three jobs to pay for her college tuition. Two were cash in hand so hadn't shown in her bank statements when they'd originally been reviewed. Only two of her friends knew the names and addresses of all of the places she worked, Days having tried to kept the fact that she was so low on money from some people.

As well as working weekends in a local book store, she offered babysitting duties and worked three nights a week as a night receptionist for a motel on the outskirts of town. Her friend had claimed that she used that job to complete most of her studies and homework as the motel wasn't particularly busy overnight, only having the occasional drop in.

You'd been given the names of the families she'd sat for and Prentiss and Morgan were going out to interview them later in the afternoon to see if any of them had any possible connection with Cane.

"I need coffee guys. I'll be right back," Penelope followed you out of the room as you went in search of your caffeine fix.

"I'll bet you need coffee my little sugar plum."

You glanced at her seeing the grin spreading over her face, "Don't know what you're talking about Penelope."

"Ha, oh yes you do. Derek told me you kept him awake again."

"You know I'm starting to find it quite creepy that he's listening. Don't you?" you tried to change the subject.

"Well if you're as loud as he says you are then he probably can't help it."

"WHAT! I'm not loud!"

She collapsed into a fit of giggles, grabbing on to your arm to steady herself. When she'd composed herself she continued on.

"So what was it last night? More mutual bonding? Or was there.... let's say a verbal examination?" she waggled her eyebrows at you suggestively.

"Penelope!!.... Really? That's such a bad metaphor."

"Omg, there was!" she squealed.

"I didn't say that did I?"

"Was there an internal examination as well?"

"Fucking hell Penelope! Stop it!!" you couldn't help but laugh at her.

"Was there?"

"Pen.... I'm dying here. I need coffee."

"Cos you're so warn out from all that sweet loving right?"

"You are relentless Penelope Garcia."

"Maybe I'll see if Derek wants some company in his room tonight. I'll decipher the sounds myself if you're not gonna tell."

"You're such a perv! Let me get a coffee okay."

"And then we'll talk?"

"Maybe."

She squealed and headed back to her office as you left the office aiming for the break room where the good coffee was.

Your phone buzzed, a text coming through.

"Garcia keeps looking at me and wriggling her eyebrows..... I'm starting to think she wants in."

You text back, "Well she did say she was gonna join Derek in his room tonight so she could listen."

"Then we'll just have to be extra quiet."

You felt bold texting back, "Maybe if I had something in my mouth to keep me busy I wouldn't be so loud."

"I can definitely think of something I'd like to put in your mouth."

"That can be arranged Doctor."

"Perhaps we can try something I've not actually done before?"

"That being?"

He sent you back two numbers, you replying with a, "Definitely."

You grabbed your coffee walking back down the hall, stopping to help one of the interns who'd somehow stumbled and managed to throw the pile of case files she was taking down to the records room at your feet.

"Oh my God I'm so sorry," she fell to her knees scrambling to pick them up.

"Don't worry," you knelt down helping her, gathering some of the folders back up and handing her a stack. Your eyes caught on the name of file at the top, you remembering the case from a few months ago.

An unsub had managed to cross over into South America using the passport of his dead younger brother.

The passport of his dead brother.

Dead brother.

If you'd have been a cartoon character, a light bulb would have popped above you head at the moment.

You shoved the files back into the interns hands hurrying back to Garcia's office.

"Garcia can you check to see if a Dean Chambers purchased a ticket on a transatlantic flight in the past three months?"

"I can indeed my beautiful girl. Bear with..... "

She clicked various screens, her fingers typing as you paced her office.

"Dean Chambers was on a flight from London Gatwick to Chicago on the 27th."

The date she gave was the day after Cane's last telephone check in.

"It was purchased three weeks prior, cash paid."

"Can you pull up the passport photo?"

She clicked a few more buttons.

"Wait. That looks like.... " she peered at the screen seeing a familiar but different face in front of her.

"Yeah but it's not. He's using his dead half brothers passport. Print it."

She hit print and you grabbed the paper out of the tray, hurrying down the hall to the rest of the team, Penelope scurrying after you.

"Guys I've got him. I know what name he's been using to travel."


	19. Chapter 19

The rest of the room stared at you as you handed the copy of the passport you'd found over to Hotch.

"His half brother?" Spencer furrowed his brow.

You nodded, "His half brother Dean was two years older than him but he died eighteen months ago. They had different fathers, hence the different surnames."

"Penelope found a plane ticket in this name from London to Chicago, two days after his last check in."

"But we spoke to his parents. They refused to see him when he was released. How did he get hold of it."

You thought for a second, "Did you speak to Dean's widow?"

Hotch checked the files, shaking his head, "There's no mention of her being interviewed in the files. I'll call her now. Do you know what flight he was on? Can we get video footage from the airport of him."

"Garcia's on it now."

Hotch left the room to make the call, the rest of the team handing the printout around.

"They do have a very similar look Y/N. He'd have had to cut and dye his hair, and the brother has glasses but it would be easily done," Rossi commented.

Penelope came rushing into her room, laptop in hand, "It's him."

She pressed play on the video footage she'd found of passengers going through the airport terminal. You all leant in closer watching the screen intently.

You spotted him almost immediately now you knew what you were looking for. He'd dyed his hair a deep brown, donning glasses with thick black frames. He did look totally different from the pictures of him, yet you could still tell it was him.

He was wearing chunky headphones and carrying a large green rucksack. From his demeanor, he didn't seem nervous at all.

"Okay so we know the date he entered the states, and that he travelled from Chicago to Virginia. Do we know how?" Emily asked as Hotch returned to the room.

"I'm running a search for any vehicles hired in that name now," Garcia spoke again, her fingers clacking away on the keyboard.

"He did make contact with his brothers widow," Hotch got the rooms attention. "She refused to see him, but did recall coming home one day to find her front door unlocked. Nothing was obviously missing though so she didn't report it, thinking it was her mistake."

"But let me guess..... She's now checked the drawer where her passports where kept and Dean's is missing?" Morgan interjected. Hotch nodded.

"Okay, okay. He hired a car from the rental place at the airport, it was checked back in three days after at a drop in point 20 miles from here. Do you want the address?" Penelope looked up for further instructions.

"Yes," Agent Hotchner spoke. "Reid, Dave, I want you to head out to the drop off point, see if they recall where he was heading. Morgan and Prentiss, continue as planned to the families Charlotte Days babysat for. I'm still convinced she knew him somehow."

You nodded, "I am too. Me and Garcia will try to clean these images up and recirculate them to the press. We'll send them to your phones as soon as we're done."

"Good. I'll contact Interpol and let them know of the new developments," Hotch nodded to you all signalling that the conversation was over and to get on with your assigned duties.

The office emptied, you and Reid both hanging back slightly wanting say goodbye to other away from the prying eyes of the team.

"We're getting closer Spence," you grinned at him.

"Yeah, we are. Hopefully this will be over soon."

Morgan poked his head back into the room, "Yeah so you two can get back to your apartments and I can get some sleep." He called loudly.

"Get a move on Kid. Rossi's waiting."

...

Another few hours had passed. You and Garcia had cleaned up the new images of Cane, sending them out to the team and to the press and police departments, ensuring that they knew who to look for.

Morgan and Emily had called in reporting none of the families Charlotte Days had sat for recognised the photo's of Cane so Hotch had sent them onto the Motel she worked at to interview her co-workers.

Penelope turned to you, "So spill. Did you two do it? "

Seriously that girl was like a horny teenager.

You sighed nodding at her, knowing she wouldn't give in until you told her.

"And........"

"And?"

"Was it good. What's he like in bed?"

"Pen, this is your friend and co-worker you're asking about here."

"So?"

"Fine...Yes it was good. Better than good. He's like a different guy when we're alone together now. More confident. It's sexy."

She grinned, "And thats all because of you beautiful."

"How so?"

"Having a girl as awesome as you like him has obviously done wonders for his ego."

"To be fair, he did say that to me. I don't get it though. I can't really understand how he's been single for so long. It's not like other girls haven't been interested in him. I've seen them dropping hints and flirting with him."

It was true, you'd watched girls try to pick him up on a number of occasions when you'd been out with him and Morgan. Because Spencer had always refused to dance, everyone assumed that you and Morgan were an item.

"Yeah and you've seen him pick those hints up off the floor and politely hand them back. He doesn't know when girls are trying to hit on him. Whereas you outrightly told him you liked him not long after you met right?"

"Right."

"See thats what he needed. Of course it helps that he was smitten with you too from the moment he laid eyes on you."

Hotch came in at that moment, his phone in hand, "We've got a lead. An annoymous caller has reporting seeing a man fitting Cane's description in a grey transit van, parked near a warehouse just outside of town."

The press and public hadn't been made aware of the colour, or make of vehicle you'd suspected him of driving as you'd be afraid he'd dump the car. The only people who knew about that were police and other agents.

"A warehouse?" you questioned.

"An old meat packing factory about 2 miles away from where Reid and Rossi are. They're heading there now and I'm sending back up to join them."

You weren't too hot on the idea of Reid being the first on the scene, sending him a quick message telling him to be safe and that you loved him.

He replied instantly assuring you that he would and that he'd text you as soon as he could.

Now you just had to wait.

Around 10 minutes later Penelope's phone buzzed.

"Hotline to the Oracle."

"Days did know him," It was Emily. "He's been renting a room at the motel she works at. He's still checked in under Dean Chambers."

"Still?"

"The owners getting keys to his room now," she stayed on the line whilst you updated her, explaining that his van had been spotted and that Rossi and Reid were heading there now.

"With backup I presume?"

"Back up's about 5 minutes out," you assured her.

"Fuck!" you heard Derek exclaim in the background.

"What's up," both you and Penelope glanced at each other.

"I'm gonna call you back, hook me into video when I do okay?"

Emily hung up, redialling seconds later. Penelope hit the button on her screen allowing the video chat to be displayed on her computer screen.

It showed you a dirty motel room that obviously hadn't been cleaned in a while. You could see photos on the wall. Emily zoomed in, moving closer as Hotch moved out of the room to take a phone call.

All the photos on the wall were of you, or you and Spencer. They'd been taken at a various locations, you two in the park, leaving the gym, entering your apartment building.

"Y/N where did you say Cane's car had been found?" you could see Derek studying a piece of paper, his voice urgent.

You told him the name and address of the warehouse.

"And it was an annonymous tip?" he asked.

"Yeah why?"

"Shit shit shit! Get them on the phone now. Tell them not to proceed into the location until backup presents."

Penelope opened up another line dialling Rossi, whilst you tried Spencer.

"Morgan, what is it?"

Penelope looked at you worried, Rossi wasn't answering and neither was Reid. You both tried again.

"Get Hotch now. I think it's a set up. He's got photo's of that warehouse on his dresser."

You ran out into the hallway calling for Hotch. He glanced over at you and you could tell by the look on his face and the tone in his voice that something was wrong. He signalled for you to go back into Garcia's office.

"Something's wrong Penelope."

Derek was still on the screen searching through drawers, pulling out a laptop and cell phones. Hotch re entered the room.

"Y/N I need you to sit down."

No no no!

"Please, sit down."

No no no no no!

"Sir?" Penlope reached up, grabbing your hand and tugging you down.

"Backup have just arrived at the scene."

"It was a trap wasn't it," Morgan spoke on screen.

"Rossi is injured. He was found unconscious next to some tyre tracks. Paramedics are on their way."

"And Spencer?" Emily asked the question you didn't dare.

Hotch looked at you.

"Spencer isn't there."


	20. Chapter 20

No.  
No.  
NO.

Penelope's arms wrapped around you quickly. You weren't aware you'd actually been shouting until she started to soothe you.

"Shhh, shhhhh Y/N" her words soft as she rubbed your back.

"Hotch?" she spoke to him, her own eyes filled with concern.

"The Agents on scene are searching the area now."

"Hotch it was a set up. He somehow knew Reid and Rossi were in the area and called in the tip himself. Look around his motel room. The room is filled with pictures of them both." Derek was still on the video call and panned the camera around so the Agent could see.

"Is that a laptop?" Penelope spied the small computer on the bed.

Derek nodded, "We found two cell phones also."

"Turn it on, tell me the IP address," Emily followed Garcia's instructions and she released her embrace on you, turning back to the screen.

Fingers flying she linked up to the laptop, searching through its contents.

"Do you ever leave your phones unattended?" she asked you. You nodded numbly.

"Work and personal? And when?"

You swallowed, "Sometimes both. If we're at the gym we'd generally only take one of our work phones in with us. We locked the rest in a locker." You'd started doing that a while ago, when the team realised how much time you were spending together they only ever needed to be able to contact one of you.

"And that's the same gym Kennedy Marshall went to right?"

You nodded, "Why are you asking me all of these questions Penelope? Why aren't you trying to ping Spencer's phones?"

"I am sweet pea. I'm asking because I found some sort of cloning software on this laptop. He's managed to get hold of both of your work cells and your personal ones. They're linked into this programme. I'm guessing the cells that Morgan has there might be clones of your personal ones, whilst he has the clones of the work ones with him."

"That's how he knew where Reid and Rossi were going then. But how'd he do it?"

Emily and Morgan were still searching the room, Emily holding up and item of clothing.

"There's an employee tee shirt and lanyard for the gym. Either he worked there or managed to get a hold of it from someone else who did. He's obviously managed to get the cells out of your locker, clone them and replace them."

"It's easy enough to do if you know how," Penelope spoke.

"Continue searching the room, see if there's anything else and then head back to the gym with the new pictures of Cane. Then get back here." Hotch gave his instructions and Morgan and Prentiss signed off.

Turning to you he spoke, "There's Agents at the warehouse searching for any clues and I'm sending another team back to the motel to pick up anything Derek and Emily miss. Penelope will do everything she can to track any movement on Reid's cell."

You nodded tearfully, "What now?"

"I need to go to the hospital to check on Dave and find out what he remembers from the attack."

You stood up, grabbing your bag and phones, "I'm coming with you."

"No you're not. I don't want you leaving this building."

"Hotch, I'm coming with you. He is my friend as well as colleague and he's been injured because of me. I either go with you now, or I wait for you to leave and follow you myself. Either way I'm going. I need to know what happened."

Realising you were deadly serious about going by yourself, Hotch relented. "Wear your vest and do not leave my sight. Keep both of your phones on loud at all times. If he's planning on making contact, it will be with you."

"Okay."

Penelope stood giving you another hug.

"Find him Pen, please."  
...

By the time you and Hotch had made it to the emergency room Rossi was conscious and being stitched up.

He'd been hit over the head with a sharp object and needed 9 stitches. Even though he winced as the stitches were inserted he was still attempting to charm the pretty young nurse who was suturing him so he couldn't have felt that bad.

"Dave, what happened?" Hotch questioned.

"We arrived at the scene and saw the van but he wasn't in it. We did a lap around the perimeter of the warehouse and then heard the van's alarm going off."

"So you headed back?"

"Well we started to, but then Y/N called Spencer and he couldn't hear you so he stopped. I thought I saw movement in the van so I stupidly ran on ahead. He must have been hiding round the side of the van because all I remember is approaching the front end, looking around to see if Spencer had followed and then..... well that's it."

"Could you see Reid when you stopped?" Hotch asked.

"Not from the angle I was at. I should have never have gone on alone. I know better than that. Hell, I wrote the book on that." The older man was frustrated with himself.

"I didn't call Spencer," you spoke, sitting next to Rossi on the hospital bed.

"No, Cane did. From your cloned cell."

Rossi looked confused, "He cloned their cells?"

Hotch explained what Emily and Morgan had found in the Motel room, and that you'd suspected that he'd somehow got them out of your locker at the gym.

"So he was just waiting for an opportunity to separate her and Reid then," Rossi looked at Hotch.

"He's going to kill him, isn't he? He killed those girls, and Kelly Casey's boyfriend. He hurt Rossi and now he has Reid. He's going to kill him," you couldn't even cry. The thought of Reid dying because of you had made you numb inside.

"I don't think so Y/N. I think he's going to try to use Reid to get you to come to him."

"Then why hasn't he made contact yet?"

Rossi took your hand and squeezed it, "Because the longer he waits, the more your emotions will control your reactions. He knows you'll do anything for that boy, even if it involves sacrificing yourself."

He was right. If Cane called, you'd do whatever he instructed without question if it meant Spencer would be okay.

"I'm sorry you got hurt because of me, Rossi," you said to him timidly.

"Don't worry about it bella, I'm a tough old boot," he pulled your hand to his lips, kissing it gently. "Now let's get outta here and get Spencer back."  
...

The nurse hadn't wanted Rossi to leave so he'd had to sign himself out against doctors orders, promising to take it easy for the next few days.

You regrouped back at headquarters, Derek and Emily having returned also.  
They'd bought back the mass of photos from Cane's motel room as well as his laptop and two cell phones that had been there. Penelope was analysing them now.  
They'd also revisited the gym. Cane had gained casual employment there as a janitor under Dean Chambers' name. He'd stopped turning up for work 7 days ago.  
You felt completely lost. Agents were out searching for the van, but seeing as Cane had had a head start and you didn't know what direction he was going in, you weren't feeling hopeful.

Spencer's phones had been switched off so Garcia couldn't track him that way. It was approaching nightfall now and you were struggling to cope with the thought of spending the night away from him, not knowing if he was safe or not.

Hotch's cell rang and he left the room to take the call. He re-entered a few moments later.

"They found the van, abandoned on an industrial estate 20 miles away from here. It's being brought in now."

He gave the coordinates of the estate to Penelope who bought it up on a map.  
"Has he changed vehicle then?" Morgan asked.

"That's the assumption. Police are canvassing other businesses on the estate now to see if there's any other vehicles reported missing."

"Camera's?" you whispered hopefully.

Hotch shook his head, "Security guards are employed by the owner of the site instead, the cameras kept getting vandalised."

Another hour went past whilst you waited for the van to be towed in. You sat on the floor in Penelope's office; knees drawn up to your body, your head in your hands.  
You knew you should help but you couldn't do anything. The others left you to it, occasionally asking you if you could recall the dates and places the photos Cane had of you were taken. They were trying to add to the timeline of his movements. Every time you looked up to view a picture a fresh wave of anger and sadness hit you.

Spencer's face was blacked out in every one of them.

CSI called in to Hotch. Fresh blood had been found in the back of Cane's van, and it had lit up like a Christmas tree with traces of older blood after it had been sprayed with luminol .

Spencer's badge had been found in the back along with another photo, one of just you with the words "MINE" scrawled across it.


	21. Chapter 21

You couldn't sleep. You didn't want to sleep, you just wanted Spencer.

Hotch had called it a day around 11pm, the team not being able to gain any new information. CSI were currently sweeping through Cane's van, running all of the DNA samples they'd collected. No other vehicles had been reported missing in the area, so none of you knew what other vehicle he was using.

You assumed he had to have another one, it not being logical that he would have convinced Spencer to go on foot without a scene being caused.

Unless Spencer was no longer able to cause a scene.

That was a thought you were desperately trying to push to the back of your mind.

Hotch had checked you all into the same hotel that you, Reid and Morgan had been staying in, so if Cane did try to make contact with you overnight, they'd all be there.

Hotch and Rossi were certain that was Cane's next move. To contact you and offer an exchange, you for Reid. They had a team of Agents on standby ready to accompany the team to the liaison point. You just needed him to make contact now.

Penelope had set up her laptops in your hotel room and had crawled into bed with you, rubbing your back and holding you as you'd sobbed into her. She'd eventually passed out around 40 minutes ago, completely exhausted herself.

Not being able to sleep, you grabbed your personal phone from the night stand to the side of the bed, scrolling through your camera roll looking at pictures of you and Spencer together. You had tons. You and him messing about in your kitchen, the two of you posing and pulling silly faces on a night out, pictures you'd taken of him passed out on your couch. Your brain just couldn't comprehend that there was a chance Spencer wasn't coming out of this alive and that it was all because of you.

You noticed an icon flashing in the top right hand corner of the screen, Snap chat. You hardly ever used this, only downloading it because Garcia bullied you into it.

You opened the app up, confused as to who would be sending you things on there. SPNRD would like to add you, sent today two hours ago.

Huh?

SPNRD.

Spencer Reid.

If his phone had been turned on, why had it not triggered an alert to Penelope's computer? If he was messaging you surely something would have alarmed?

Then you remembered a conversation that you'd had with Garcia a while ago about a previous case. Because of the way the snap chat app worked, messages sent via it weren't traceable.

If Spencer was trying to get hold of you though, he would have called so the whole team would be have been alerted.

This must be Cane, on a different phone using Spencer's name to get your attention. Well he had it.

You accepted the request and slipped out of bed. You grabbed your clothes and vest and headed to the bathroom, quickly getting dressed.

Less than two minutes later a message came through.

"If you are with someone, do not react to this message."

You messaged back immediately, "Where is Spencer?"

"I'll tell you. Leave the hotel you're in and find a pay phone. Alone. You have two minutes."

Shit.

You grabbed your bag, keys to Penelope's car and two guns. Pausing before you left the room you made your way over to Garcia's side of the bed, grabbing her personal cell phone too.

Creeping out of the room you hurried down the corridor, pulling the hood from your zip up over your head. You made it out onto the street below, spying a pay phone across the street.

"I'm outside. Alone."

"Prove it please, send a video."

You held your cell up to your face flicking the camera onto to selfie mode and did a quick 360 degree turn, hitting send.

"Dial this number," you screen shotted it quickly, crossing the road and rummaging in your purse for change.

Heart pounding you dialled the number, a deep voice you'd never managed to get out of your head picking up on the second ring.

"Y/N."

"Joshua," you kept your voice as steady as you could.

"It's so good to hear you say my name again Y/N. I've missed you soo much."

What?.....

"Where is Spencer, Josh?"

"Here with me. Your little boyfriend is safe don't worry."

"What do you want with him?"

"It's not him I want Y/N it's you. It's been you all along."

"Is he hurt?"

"He has a mild concussion and a few cuts and bruises, but other than that...."

"Let him go Josh, please."

"I will. If you come. Alone. We should be together. Like we were always meant to be."

"If I come you'll let him go?"

"Yes."

"And what happens to me?" Not that you really cared at this point if it meant Spencer would be safe.

"We'll be together. You're mine Y/N, no one else's. I've never stopped loving you. I'm the only one good enough for you."

Clearly Cane was delusional and that worried you. Not for yourself, but for Spencer.

"I'll come."

"I need to know you won't be tracked."

"The rest of my team are asleep, give me the address."

"Drive to the gym, you know which one. There's a car waiting in the parking lot. Keys are under the front wheel. Message me when you're there," he disconnected the call leaving you standing there with your heart pounding.

Fuck... He knew any car at the hotel with you would be FBI owned and therefore be fitted with a tracking device. He was making sure your location couldn't be found via GPS.

Were you really going to do this?

Alone?

Without backup?

Yes.

What other choice did you have?

The drive to the gym took you eight minutes and you spent every one of those seconds trying to convince yourself that you were doing the right thing.

You knew you should alert the team, but what if Cane found out?

What if it caused him to...... You couldn't even stand to think about it.

Pulling into the parking lot you spotted only two cars, one probably belonging to security.

You opened the Snap chat app taking a picture of the two cars, "Which one?"

"The blue. There's a disposable cell in the glove compartment," the message came back quickly.

You parked up, searching for the keys under the wheel arch and finding them. Getting in, you rummaged through the glove box finding the phone and clicking it on.

There was only one number saved in the phone, a different number from the one you'd dialled in the phone booth. He must have purchased multiple disposables.

You called the number, him picking up immediately.

"Now what?"

"Turn your cells off. Both of them. And I'll know if you haven't."

"No."

"NO? "

"So far I have no proof that Spencer is even alive."

"You want proof of life?"

"Yes. Give me proof and I'll comply. And not just a picture. You could have taken it hours ago."

"Fine, I'll give you proof of life," you heard him place the phone down and could hear him speaking but couldn't make out the words.

Twenty seconds later the snap chat icon came onto your personal cell.

You swiped, following the instructions to press and hold to view the video.

Spencer came into view, sat on a chair, hands behind the back and his ankles duct taped to the legs. His head was slumped down onto his chest and you could see blood matted in his hair.

A hand reached out lifting his head up, the camera focusing on his face.

"Say hello to your girlfriend Dr Reid."

His eyes half focused on the phone, they were bloodshot and a bruise was starting to form around one. His lip had been split open, blood drying around his mouth.

When he realised what Cane had said his eyes widened his mouth opening in a "No", his head shaking slightly, wincing in pain as he did. The hand holding his head up let go.

That was proof enough for you.

Cane came back to the other phone.

"Happy now. He's alive and will remain unharmed providing you come alone. If there's any hint that you've called for assistance then I'll kill him. Turn the other phones off so your friends can't track you and remember I'll know if you turn them on. Keep this phone on speaker, I'll give you directions. I've got my own GPS link in that car so I can see where you are and will know if you deviate from route."

You did as instructed, switching the phones off. You switched Penelope's phone off too making sure it was on silent, so it wouldn't sound when you eventually needed to switch it back on again.

You could hear Spencer in the background but couldn't make out what he was saying. You imagined he was probably begging you not to come. If he wasn't gagged then the location he was being kept at had to be relatively remote, otherwise there was the risk of attracting attention.

"Done. Where am I going?"

Cane started to reel off instructions, and you followed them in silence, your brain working overtime.

You had no clue what was going to happen when you got to the location, but if there was a chance you could get Spencer out of this alive then you'd take it.

You drove for about twenty five minutes, sticking to the speed limit not wanting to draw attention to yourself. The directions had taken you out of the city and out past some farmland. Eventually Cane told you to pull off on to a dirt track which you followed for another five minutes, a building looming in the distance.

"What is this place?" you wondered, speaking out loud.

"It's just an old brewery I found," Cane spoke down the phone. "Aside from that it's only other significance is that it will be the place where we are finally reunited."

You estimated you'd been driving for about thirty minutes, meaning that it would be at least fifteen minutes before the team would get there once they figured out where you were.

"Follow the road round to the back entrance. I've linked into one of the old security cameras here so I'll be able to see you."

You followed his instructions again, seeing a blue pick up truck parked. Quietly, you into your bag on the seat next to you, grabbing Penelope's phone and pressing the on button.

Eyes still on the road, you tapped her screen where you knew the call option would be, hitting speed dial two which you knew was Hotch on her phone. You turned the volume down so Cane wouldn't able to hear the dial tone.

"What now Josh?" you spoke as soon as you saw that Hotch had picked up, hoping he'd realise and wouldn't say anything and risk blowing your only hope of you both getting away from this alive.

"Park up and go to the door. I'll give you more instructions."

You parked next to the pick up truck, wondering where he'd acquired it from and exited, scanning the building for the door. You left Garcia's phone on the seat besides you. Spotting the door you noticed an object in front of it and a security camera above. You walked over, the cell phone pressed to your ear.

"I know you've got at least one gun Y/N. Remove it and place it on the ground."

You'd been prepared for him asking this of you so you removed your hand gun from its holster on your hip, placing it on the ground.

"Anymore?"

You shook your head at the camera.

"Just to be on the safe side, there's a metal detector on the floor. Run it over yourself.... Slowly."

Fuck.

So that's what the object was. You sighed, bending down and picking it up, running it over your body slowly.

It bleeped when it got to your waist. You lifted your hoody and tee shirt to show Cane the belt you had on which was setting it off and continued running it down your legs.

"You're avoiding your left ankle Y/N. Don't play games, or the good Doctor will pay."

There was no use trying to hide it so you rolled up your pant leg, pulling out the smaller gun you'd stashed in your boot, placing that on the ground too. You'd have to go in unarmed and improvise. You ran the detector over your ankle again so he could see you had nothing else.

"Good girl. I'm going to disconnect now. Leave the phone on the ground too so you can't use it to call your team. Follow the hallway to the left when you enter. We're right down at the end."

The line went dead and you placed the cell on the ground as well. As you stood back up taking a shaky deep breath, a line from a book came into your mind.

"I'd never given much thought to how I would die. But dying in place of someone I love seems like a good way to go."

Seemed pretty apt right now.


	22. Chapter 22

You pushed the door open entering a dark corridor, lit only by the moonlight streaming through the glass windows.

Turning left as instructed, you began to walk slowly, your heart pounding with every step you took. You noticed a glint on the floor, broken glass from where some of the windows had been smashed in.

Remembering a sleight of hand magic trick Spencer had tried to teach you once, you had an impulse idea. "Worth a shot," you thought, crouching down and looking for a suitable piece. You found one and tucked it into the sleeve of your jacket.

You resumed your walk wondering if this is what prisoners on death row felt like when they had to walk the green mile. You felt sick to your stomach thinking about what could be waiting for you, how this could end.

There was a soft glow coming from under a door at the end of the corridor."That must be where they were," you thought heading towards it.

Stopping just out side, you called out, "Joshua?"

"Enter Y/N," he called back his voice muffled by the door.

You pushed it open taking a small step into the room, your eyes scanning the room quickly.

Two exits, the one you come from and another door at the opposite side, although you didn't know where that lead to. Two fair sized windows on the right hand wall, which had been boarded up, new window panes propped up on the wall beneath them.

The room was lit by halogen lights, hooked up to a generator in the corner of the room. There was a table against one wall, two lap tops lying open on it, one showing the stream from the security camera you'd passed by. A slew of cell phones were laid out too.

At the end of the table you saw a gun, recognising it as a Desert Eagle. Next to it was a carving knife, the blade long and sharp. You shivered seeing it. That was the type of blade he'd used on the other girls.

Spencer was sat on a chair towards the back of the room, his arms bound behind him and ankles duct taped to the legs of the chair. At some point during your drive Cane must have got fed up with his yelling as his mouth had been taped up too.

Blood matted his hair and you cut see a deep cut on his forehead disappearing into his hairline. He lifted his head, his eyes filling with tears when he saw you stood there. He tried to speak but the sound was muffled through the tape.

"Y/N,at last we meet again. I've been waiting for this moment for so long," Cane spoke rising from his seat in front of the laptops. He picked the Eagle up, pushing it behind his back into the waistband of his jeans. He looked so different from the last time you'd seen him, but yet exactly the same.

"I'm here Josh, let him go."

"I will....shortly. But first, tell me. Have you missed me? I've missed you Y/N. You're all I thought about when I was inside. Your smile, your laughter, your soft sweet lips. The thought of getting to be with you again it all that kept me going."

You swallowed trying to keep the bile rising from your stomach, not daring to speak.

"I waited so long to have you last time. I watched you for months before you finally noticed me and agreed to go out with me. You made me the happiest man alive," he smiled at you, a look of love and affection in his eyes. "And now we get to be together forever."

Okay, okay. You knew how you were going to play this and the thought sickened you.

"I missed you too Joshua. So much. I can't understand why you had to hurt me though?"

You felt Spencer's eyes raise to your face, wondering what the hell you were doing. You focused on Cane.

"I told you in my letter. I didn't mean to and I never will again. You were teasing me, flirting with those other men. Now I realise though that it was just your way of getting my attention so that I'd give you want you wanted. Me."

You almost wanted to laugh at the absurdity of his words, "You stabbed me and left me for dead Josh. And you've killed four people and abducted a federal agent."

His eyes narrowed slightly, you needed to tread carefully. You backtracked quickly.

"I'm overwhelmed that you did all this for me, to get my attention. You certainly have it now. Josh, I need to check that my friend is okay."

You needed to get to Spencer somehow if your plan was going to work.

"You can see he's okay Y/N. I don't know why you care so much about him, you have me now."

"I know I do, and I'm so pleased you came for me. This was such a grand gesture that you've made. But he's my colleague and he looks injured. The cut on his head looks nasty and the gag must be hindering his breathing. Let me go over and see him."

Please please please work. You knew you had to massage his ego making him think that you were proud of the atrocities he'd committed.

Cane nodded at you, "Okay. But only because this will be the last time you get to see him."

You took a deep breath, walking forward to the chair and kneeling down in front of it.

Whispering as quietly as possible, you murmured, "Do not react or say anything."

He blinked, his eyes locking on yours.

"Josh I'm taking off this gag. He's not gonna shout or say anything but he looks like he's struggling to breath okay."

"Whatever you say Y/N. But if he shouts again......"

You understood what he was saying, seeing Spencer nod at you. You slowly pulled the duct tape from around his mouth, seeing him wince in pain as the broken skin of his lips pulled off with it.

Blinking back tears, you worked on the next part of the plan.

You raised your arms slightly to his head, making sure the sliver of glass you'd picked up was sticking out of your sleeve oh so slightly. Moving your hand to the cut on his head, your saw Reid's eyes flash quickly to your wrist, clocking the glass. You cocked your head slightly and he gave a small nod letting you know he'd seen it and knew what it was for.

You stood and moved round to the back of the chair, running your hands softly over his head, feeling for other injuries. Cane was watching you closely.

"Joshua, his wrist looks broken."

It didn't but you needed an excuse to get close to Spencer's hands.

"Does it? Perhaps he fell on it when I knocked him out."

You lowered your hands to Spencer's, wrapping one hand around his left wrist and squeezing slightly like you were checking for a broken bones.

"Yeah, I'm sure he's broken it," you slipped the sliver of glass between his hands, feeling him grasp it.

You moved back around to his front desperately hoping he'd be able to free himself. The way his chair was angled in conjunction to where Cane was stood meant that his arms were out of sight. You just had to keep Cane distracted.

"So where are we going Josh? What's your plan?"

"We drive. I have money and a car. I sold all of my Grandpa's books to get enough money together so we could live a comfortable life. We drive until we find somewhere we can make a home together. I'll make you so happy Y/N. That was all I ever wanted to do. I can make you so much happier than Spencer could," he spat Spencer's name out, his eyes narrowing again flashing over to the knife on the table.

Quickly you soothed, "He never made me happy Josh. He was just a distraction until we could be together again."

"So you don't love him then?"

You swallowed, "No. I don't love him. He's nothing to me. You are everything. I love you, I realise this now."

You hated saying these words but they were necessary. You started inching towards him.

"Please Joshua. I've missed you so much. I just want to feel your arms around me."

He smiled, opening his arms to you and you walked towards him, seeing Spencer out of the corner of your eye working to get his arms free.

Wrapping your arms around Cane's waist, you felt him embrace you, his nose burying itself into your hair inhaling your scent.

Your hand was inches above the gun when you felt Cane stiffen slightly.

"If you love me so much then why did you come here at the drop of a hat to rescue him."

Shit.

Shit shit shit.

You felt him begin to pull away, his hand reaching out for the knife on the table he was stood next to. You grabbed for his gun, feeling the cold metal on your fingers as you yanked it out of his waistband, spinning away and pointing it at him.

The look on his face changed completely, his mouth curling into a snarl and his eyes turning dark and cruel.

"I should have killed you when I had the chance you dirty fucking whore. You let every guy on campus fuck you except for me. Little Miss I'm so sweet and innocent but really you were just a massive cock tease. "

It wasn't true and you knew it but his words cut deep, the change in his demeanour startling you. He was clearly one very sick man.

"Teasing me, flirting with those other guys in front of me. I bet you did that to Spencer too. Getting him all worked up and then refusing to let him put his dick inside you. Man, it was worth it in the end though. I dreamt about that sweet pussy every night when I was in prison, thinking about the things I was going to do to it when I got out."

You felt like you were going to throw up, your hands trembling in the air, you not able to steady them.

"In fact, I've changed my mind. Your little boyfriend over there can watch whilst I fuck the life out of you. Hell maybe I'll let him have a go before I kill you both."

Your mouth dropped open, eyes flashing to Spencer.

Cane lunged at you then and you fired, a loud bang echoing through the room.

You missed.

Cane charged into you, the force knocking you off your feet and the gun skidding across the floor. Instinctively you raised you knee catching him hard between his legs as you scrambled back to your feet. You spotted the gun and ran for it but Cane recovered quickly, grabbing you from behind and throwing you against the boarded up windows. Your legs smashed against the window panes beneath, kicking them over, the glass shattering all over the floor. You landed on top, pain searing through your back, the glass cutting into you as Cane crashed down on top, pinning you to the ground.

You fought back, your legs flailing trying to get purchase on something as you hit and scratched at Cane's face. His hands wrapped tightly around your throat pulling your head away from the floor momentarily and then smashing it back down.

The pain made you see stars, you feeling a hot wetness seeping from the back of your head. He did it again, his hands tight around your throat cutting off your air supply.

Feeling faint, you struggled to a get air, the world around you blurring. He smashed your head a final time and all of the fight went out of you. You stopped struggling against him, not having the energy to do so as the images in front of you were started fading to black.

You felt Cane tugging at your hoody pushing it up as his hands reached for your pants, fumbling with the buttons.

"MINE. NO ONE ELSES. YOU'RE MINE Y/N."


	23. Chapter 23

You were certain it was all over when you heard a voice yelling, "Y/N.... Y/N open your eyes. Do NOT give in. Fight back."

Spencer's beautiful voice.

"Fight back Y/N. You can do this, look around you."

Look around you?

What?

Cane reared his head back spinning around and glaring at Spencer.

"I'll deal with you in a minute," he spat out. He'd released his grip on your neck when he'd started to tug at your clothes and you were gasping the air in, almost choking on it.

Suddenly you realised what Spencer was yelling.

You were surrounded by smashed glass from the window panes.

In fact there was a large piece right underneath your hand.

You gripped it tightly feeling it cut into the palm of your hand but barely registering the sting.

"Joshua," you croaked out, your voice barely a whisper.

He turned back to you and with every last ounce of energy you had, you raised your arm slamming the shard of glass into his jugular as hard as you could.

You heard a pop and a guzzling sound, seeing the look of surprise on his face, his mouth opening. His hands went to his neck grasping at the shard, pulling it out which was the worst thing he could have done.

Blood poured from the gash, slipping through his fingers and spraying everywhere.

Adrenaline now kicking in, you shoved him off you, him rolling onto the floor next to you.

Crawling onto your knees, you picked up another thicker shard plunging this one into his chest. This time you yanked it back out yourself, slamming it in again and again his blood covering you.

In the background you could hear sirens, along with Spencer yelling at you to stop.

But you couldn't. With every plunge in you yelled.

"This is for Charlotte Days!"

Another stab, your throat burning from the effect of shouting, having been strangled.

"This is for Kennedy Marshall!"

Another.

"This is for Kelly Casey, and this is for Paul Matthews!"

The glass splintered in his chest and you could no longer pull the same shard out. No matter, you picked up another one and plunged again.

"This is for Spencer!"

"And this is for me!"

A hand caught you from behind as you reared back for a final hit.

"Y/N! Y/N! Stop! He's dead."

You fought against the hand, but it had a tight grip on your wrist, grabbing your other as it started to search the floor for another piece of glass.

Another voice, "He's dead Kitten. You need to stop."

You stopped struggling, seeing Derek Morgan knelt next to you. He pried the glass from your hand.

"Derek?"

You looked around the room seeing the rest of the team bar Penelope entering. When they realised there wasn't a threat anymore, they lowered their guns, Emily and Hotch rushing over to Spencer who had finally managed to get his wrists free and was working on his ankles.

You stared down at the body in front of you, blood and glass everywhere.

"He's dead?"

You felt incredible woozy and shaky all of a sudden, reaching your hand to the back of your head and feeling warm fluid leaking from it.

"I'm gonna be sick."

Leaning over away from the body, you vomited adding to the mess of bodily fluids that was already covering the floor.

"Rossi, get the paramedics in now," you heard Derek call, seconds before you passed out.

...

When you woke up again, you were in a hospital bed, a drip and various wires attached to your arm, and monitors bleeping beside you. One of your hands was wrapped in a thick white bandage. There was an immense pain on your head and your lower back felt like you'd been in a fight with a tiger.

"Hotch, she's awake," Penelope rushed to the door.

The Agent hurried in, followed swiftly by a nurse who proceeded to check the machines, before shining a very bright penlight in your eyes and giving you instructions to follow it. After about five minutes she declared that everything seemed okay but that you were going to be very sore for a few days. She injected something into your drip, advising Agent Hotchner that the meds would kick in shortly.

"Spencer?" you croaked out looking at the older Agent. Your throat burned from where Cane had held you.

"He's okay. He's in another room down the hall. You've been out for a few hours."

You nodded, tears filling your eyes. "What happened?"

"What, you mean after you took off by yourself, not informing any of your team and putting yourself and Spencer in mortal danger?"

You could hear that he was struggling to keep the anger out of his voice, and that caused the tears to overspill running down your face like a river.

"I'm sorry," you struggled out.

Hotch nodded his expression softening, "I know you are, and I know why you did it. It's just..... I nearly lost two members of my team today, Y/N. Two very valued members who I consider friends as well as colleagues."

He reached out, squeezing your hand gently and wiped your tears from your face with a tissue.

"Don't ever do that again, okay?"

You nodded at him sadly. He left the room again to go and find Spencer, and Penelope sat back down pulling her chair close to yours.

"Don't try to talk okay, your larynx is bruised. You scared the shit outta me, Y/N. Scared it out of us all." Tears were rolling down her face.

She went on to tell you how she'd woken up to find you missing, panicking. Realising her phone and car keys were gone, along with your bag and gun she awoke the rest of the team.

They'd managed to trace your movements as far as the gym but then lost you when Cane had made you switch vehicles and turn off your phones.

"Thank god you thought to take my cell with you Y/N. We'd never have found you otherwise."

The door to the hospital room swung open again, Derek wheeling Spencer in.

"Hey Kitten. Someone here wants to see you. You owe me a new pair of shoes by the way, you kinda vommed all over my others."

He winked at you grinning and pushing Spencer over to your bed, leaning down and giving you a tentative hug before placing his hand on Garcia's shoulder.

"Come on baby girl. Let's leave these two love birds alone."

She gave you a gentle hug too, doing the same to Spencer before following Morgan out of the room.

You turned to him taking in the man you'd risked your life for. The gash on his head had been stitched and patched up, and an ugly bruise had formed under his eye. His bottom lip was swollen and cracked, some of the outer layer of skin missing from where you'd pulled the duct tape off. His own wrists were bandaged as well, he must have cut himself trying to get free.

Your brow furrowed at him in concern.

"Are you okay?" your voice no louder than a whisper.

"Am I okay? Y/N I'm fine.... It's you I'm worried about. When you passed out when Morgan and the team arrived, I thought I'd lost you. You were bleeding pretty heavily from your head and your back where you vest didn't meet your pants. Morgan had to pretty much pull that glass out of your hand too."

Little snippets were coming back to you; you being thrown against the wall smashing into the window panes and Cane repeatedly smashing your head against the floor. It's no wonder your head was throbbing.

"I'm so angry with you for coming alone. When he lunged at you I thought..... "

He trailed off his own eyes glazing over, "I thought I was going to watch you die."

He reached out taking your hand, the one that wasn't bandaged up to your elbow.

"I couldn't not come Spencer," you choked out, your chest and throat on fire. "I couldn't let him kill you. Please don't be mad at me."

"I can't help it. I love you so much Y/N. You're everything to me. If you'd have died, my life wouldn't have been worth living anymore." He pressed your hand to his swollen mouth, kissing it gently wincing in pain as he did.

"That's how I feel about you Spencer. That's why I couldn't not do what he asked."

You could feel your eyes starting to droop, the emotional conversation and the pain meds taking their toll on you.

"Don't ever do any thing like that again Y/N. Do not put yourself in danger for me."

You nodded at him, knowing that was a promise you'd break in a heartbeat if he ever was in danger again.

"Get some more sleep. I love you."

"I love you too Spencer. Don't leave me... Please."

"I won't, I'll be right here for you. Always."


	24. Chapter 24

Three weeks had passed and you were due to go back to work tomorrow.

Both you and Spencer had been forced to stay in hospital for observation, Spencer for twenty four hours and you for three days as your head wound had been a lot worse. Not that he'd left your side once he'd been discharged.

You'd returned home to a slew of flowers covering your kitchen counter and a fridge stocked full meals made by Rossi.

Hotch had refused to let you come back to work, forcing you to take three weeks paid sick leave, Spencer had returned a week ago not wanting to leave you, but you'd insisted.

The team had stopped by at various times, filling you in on missing details that they'd uncovered. The owner of a second hand car dealership had come forward, recognising Cane from the news stories that were run about him. Cane had purchased two vehicles from him in the run up to Spencer's abduction. The owner of a specialist book store forty miles away had also reported buying two of the first editions from Cane.

Over twenty thousand dollars had been found in Cane's pick up truck. The money, not being gained illegally should have passed to his next of kin which would have been Cane's parents. However his mother had contacted the FBI asking for it to be split between the families of his victims, going towards their funeral costs if they'd accept it.

She'd also written you a letter apologising again for her sons atrocities. Hotch had delivered it to you personally and Spencer had come home to find you sobbing on the kitchen floor the day you'd received that.

You and Spencer had never had a proper conversation about where your relationship was going to go from here. You'd assumed you'd pick up from where you left off before. You'd slipped back into your old routine of spending nights at each others apartments but apart from a few kisses and cuddles, you'd not actually done anything else with each other.

Initially, you'd been okay with this, both of you had suffered head injuries and you'd had some pretty nasty cuts to your back and hand but they were healing nicely now. When you'd been cuddling in bed last night, your hand had wandered down to Spencer's groin attempting to initiate something but he'd just pulled your hand away and pulled you into a closer hug. You wanted to ask him what was wrong but you felt strangely shy.

You'd texted Garcia about it earlier today asking her opinion on it as you were starting to feel frustrated. She'd suggested that he was worried about hurting you.

Your phone buzzed. Spencer.

"Rossi wants to cook dinner for us all. His place at 8pm? I should be home by 5:30pm today."

Home. You loved how you referred to both of your apartments as home.

"Okay, I'll be ready."

It was 4:30 pm already so you hopped in the bath, washing your hair and taking time to shave your legs properly. Wrapping a towel round your torso and another round your head, you lay on your bed.

You must have dozed off as when you looked at your clock next it was close to 6pm and you could hear your shower running. A few minutes later it shut off and Spencer walked out, a towel wrapped round his middle, hair dripping wet.

"Hey sleepy head," He smiled at you.

"Hey handsome," You replied, pulling yourself up off the bed and walking over to give him a hug.

"I'm all wet Y/N!"

You shrugged, "It's not like I'm dressed Spence. The towels will soak it up." You wrapped your arms round his neck pressing yourself close to his damp body. His arms circled your waist holding you close.

You stood on your tip toes raising your face to his and planting a soft kiss on his mouth. He kissed you back gently and your raised your hands to his head running them lightly through his wet curls. You loved the feel of his hair.

You deepened the kiss running your tongue along his bottom lip asking for access and his lips parted, his tongue meeting yours. You pulled away after a few minutes, kissing across his jaw to his ear.

"I've missed you Spencer."

"I've missed you too Y/N. But you're back at work tomorrow so we'll get more time together."

He wasn't getting your meaning...

Or he was but he was being deliberately obtuse.

Feeling bold, you reached up to your towel tugging it free and letting it drop to the floor.

"No, I've missed you. You've not touched me since this has been over."

His eyes widened at your naked body, running over you from head to foot and back up again, licking his lips as he did.

"I was worried about hurting you after the attack. That it was too soon."

"Spencer Reid, you'd never hurt me.... Unless I wanted you to that is."

He raised his eyebrows, "Interesting."

You laughed, leaning back in to kiss his neck and feeling him take a sharp in take of breath as you did. You flicked your tongue out, lightly licking his neck, kissing and sucking your way down his smooth wet chest to his navel hearing his breathing quicken.

Reaching for his towel, you tugged it loose letting it join yours on the floor.

"What are you doing?" his words a throaty whisper in his throat.

You sank to the floor wrapping your hand around his already hardened length, a delicious whimper escaping from his mouth as you licked your lips.

You looked up at him seeing his eyes burning as he stared back at you his mouth open.

"What do you think I'm doing Spencer?"

Before he could answer you lowered your mouth to him, your lips encircling him.

"Oh my...... fuck, Y/N," His hand went straight to the back of your head tangling in your hair.

You began moving your mouth up and down, swiping your tongue down his erection as you did. You mirrored your actions with your hand, wrapping it round the base and pumping lightly, your grip soft but firm.

You sucked gently and slowly at first, your cheeks hollowing out as a loud gasp left Spencer's mouth. You picked up your pace bobbing backward and forward with your lips, taking him in as far as you could, without it being uncomfortable. You could taste him already, salty liquid escaping every so often.

Spencer's moans were making you hard yourself, so you used your free hand wisely, shoving it between your legs and massaging your clit. Your own whimpers vibrating through your mouth.

"Fuck, you need to stop Y/N," Spencer's thighs started trembling slightly and he stepped back pulling himself away from your mouth. Even though he'd broken the contact, it was him that let out the involuntary whine.

"Why?" you were still rubbing yourself, applying greater pressure and increasing your momentum.

"I don't wanna come in your mouth. Not tonight."

You shrugged, continuing your movements, yours eyes on with his.

"Your loss, not.... Not mine," you bit back another moan.

Spencer bent down gripping your arms and pulling you up.

"As much as I love watching you do that, I need to be inside you right now. I'm gonna make your moan, not you."

And then he smirked... That damn smirk that made you weak at the knees.

"Fine," you pouted. "Have it your way."

You removed your hand standing up and placing them flat on his chest, pushing him onto the bed so he was sitting on the edge. You were going to need to be on top for this, you didn't want to aggravate the healing cuts on your lower back.

Climbing on the bed with him, you swung your leg over straddling him knees either side. Reaching between you, you positioned him at your entrance, Spencer's hands going to your hips pulling you down gently.

You both groaned at the same time at the new sensation, the sounds both being so similar that you couldn't help but giggle slightly.

Spencer grinned at you pulling you close.

"You're not meant to be laughing Y/N."

He bucked his hips underneath you causing you to cry out. Reaching his hands beneath your ass and cupping your cheeks, he began moving you against him, nipping at your neck and shoulder with his teeth as he did.

You carried on like this, riding up and down, with Spencer lowering his mouth to your breasts sucking your hardened nipples into his mouth, alternating between them.

He pulled away after a while, moving back up to your mouth pressing a gentle kiss on you. Raising your hands to his face, you smoothed his hair back from his face, resting your forehead against his.

Your lips were so close but yet you weren't actually kissing. You were just breathing in each others air, your lips brushing every so often.

The look in his eyes was so intense, his deep hazel eyes looking at you like you were the only person in the world. 

"Can we change position?" he whispered. Noticing the look on your face he hurriedly continued. "Not that I'm not enjoying this one....In fact that's the problem. I'm nearly there and I don't think you are, but it's really awkward for me to touch you like this."

Oh. Okay.

He was kinda right. You were enjoying it, but you definitely weren't there yet. You nodded climbing off him.

"How do you want me?"

"Just stand there for a minute," he moved off the bed standing in front of you and reaching his own hand between your thighs, the pads of his fingers pressing onto your clit, beginning to massage and circle you, quickly working magic. His other hand lightly tickling your neck and back.

It didn't take long and soon you were gasping, your breath hitching in your throat, your head pressed against his chest feeling the sweat from his body.

His other hand came up under your chin tilting you up to look at him.

"Close?"

You nodded, rasping out, "Very."

"Thank fuck. I don't want you missing out. Can you climb on the bed and bend over please. As close to the edge as you can get."

You certainly could, moving onto the bed following his instructions.

You turned to look over your should seeing him move behind you.

"Not gonna lie Y/N, this is an image I definitely won't forget in a hurry."

"I hate this next part, it's so awkward. Stick your butt out as high as you can and spread your legs. This beds not a great height for this, mine would be better."

You did remember how awkward this position could be to begin with. You also remembered how good it could be.

Doing as you were told, you adjusted yourself feeling him pressing against you and getting into position. Slowly, he inched his way into you.

"Jesus fucking Christ Spencer!" The new angle was definitely deeper than you'd him felt before.

He grasped your hips beginning to move in you slowly at first and then gaining pace, you crying out at each thrust. When he reached round with his hand to touch your clit again, you just about melted into a puddle.

Hands gripping the bedsheets, you started pushing back against him, the room filled with the sounds of each others groans and your bodies slamming against each other.

You legs started to tremble as that familiar feeling began building inside of you, your panting increasing. Spencer, recognising this as a sign you were nearly there increased the movements his fingers were making on your clit, slowing his thrusts into you and reaching forward with his other hand and lightly tugging on your nipple.

"Spencer..... ," you could barely speak, his name catching in your throat as your orgasm took over instead. The feel of you tensing and clamping down on him as you came caused a deep guttural groan from your lover and he resumed his thrusting, going harder and faster than before.

Less than a minute later his hands moved back your hips, digging in harshly as he finished, him moaning your name.

"Fuck, I need to lay down now," he panted pulling himself out of you, you feeling the mixture of both of your juices trickling down your leg.

You moved forward lying on your belly and Spencer climbed back onto the bed lying beside you. You curled up beside him, lifting so he could slide his arm beneath you feeling it gently run and down your back.

"Y/N? "

"Hmmmmm?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Spencer?"

"Yeah?"

"I need another shower. I'm all sticky."

He burst out laughing, you joining in. "Me too. We need to get a move on, we're due at Rossi's in an hour."

"Replay later?" you pulled yourself up off the bed raising an eyebrow at him.

"Definitely. Now go shower.... Or else we'll be late and you know Derek will make fun."

"I really couldn't care less," you grabbed Spencer's hand, tugging him into the bathroom later telling him that sharing the shower would be quicker.

It wasn't.... You were forty minutes late to dinner and Derek ripped the shit out of you both seeing the bite marks on your neck.

But fuck, was it worth it.


End file.
